


Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

by pineappledalek



Series: Getting Up From Falling Down [2]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 35,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineappledalek/pseuds/pineappledalek
Summary: After things finally seem to settle down, something happens. Will Shawn ever be able to put the past behind him and learn to live life again?Sequel to "Silence is Golden? Yeah Right"A lot of Shawn Angst and Whump.SPOILER: For Ep 4x9 "Shawn takes a shot in the Dark" and Ep 3x09 "Christmas Joy"
Relationships: Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Series: Getting Up From Falling Down [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998082
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue and Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a sequel, so you should first read "Silence is Golden? Yeah Right", but it's not absolutely necessary. This takes place a couple days after the first story ended. 
> 
> Here are some notes:
> 
> -I originally wrote this in 2010/2011 and was only 21 at the time. It is posted on Psychfic.com and FanFiction.net. I recently went through and made minor adjustments and spelling/grammar corrections. 
> 
> -Specific spoilers for ep 4x09 "Shawn takes a Shot in the Dark", ep 3x09 "Christmas Joy"
> 
> -This story is rated M for a reason. There's strong language and sexual assault.
> 
> -Everything italicized are flashbacks or phone calls
> 
> -DISCLAIMER: I'm not affiliated with Psych in any way, shape or form, or else it would be a lot more whump

PROLOGUE

Santa Barbara, 1983

Madeleine Spencer was sitting up in her bed with the bedside light on. She was reading a romance novel that one of her friends loaned to her. It was quiet inside the house since it was nearing midnight. Shawn had been put to bed hours ago and Henry had the night shift. Outside was a completely different story. A severe thunderstorm had rolled in an hour ago, and every so often lightning would flash across the room.

As Madeleine was about to turn the page, she heard a loud crash of thunder and the lights went out. Sighing, she put her book down and was about to settle down for the night when a creak outside of her bedroom door made her pause. Quietly opening the bedside table to grab the flashlight, Madeleine's hand brushed against the gun that Henry insisted she learn to use. He would have her go to the shooting range at least once a year to practice.

As the door slowly opened, Madeline gripped the flashlight with her left hand while her right hovered over the gun. There was a pause in the door's movement and just when she was about to grab the gun, there was a flash of lightning that illuminated both the room and the figure in the doorway.

"Shawnie," Madeleine breathed as she turned the flashlight on to see her son's face more clearly. Even with the distance and the poor lighting, she could tell that her 6 year old son was terrified. "What's wrong Goose?"

Sniffling, Shawn took a step closer, one hand still clutching the door handle. "The storm woke me up, mommy. And then there was a loud crash and my night-light went out. When I couldn't get my lamp to turn on, I got scared." Looking down at his feet, Shawn mumbled, "I know daddy said that I'm too old, but can I stay with you tonight? Please?"

Nodding her head, Madeleine said, "Of course you can Goose. Let me handle daddy later."

Not having to be told twice, especially when a loud crack of thunder sounded again, Shawn quickly ran to the other side of the bed and crawled under the covers. He got into as small of a ball as he could while Madeleine laid on her back. Wrapping her left arm around Shawn's back, she started stroking his hair with her other hand.

"Don't worry, Shawnie, nothing is ever going to happen to you, not with your father and I around. We will always be there to protect you. Even if he doesn't show it, your father loves you very much. And so do I."

Feeling Shawn relax, Madeleine started to hum some lullabies as the storm continued to rage on around them.

* * *

CHAPTER 1

Santa Barbara 2014

_ Shawn is slowly trying to creep up the stairs, using some of the stealth techniques that his father taught him. When he gets to the top, the door is locked. Shawn uses a piece of wire to pick it. When he hears the click, Shawn slowly opens the door. Thinking that the coast is clear, Shawn starts to make his way through the kitchen. _

_ "Hey Shawnie." _

_ That voice, the one that's been tormenting him for almost a year, stops Shawn dead in his tracks. _

_ "You know, it's not polite to sneak away. I guess we have a few more lessons to teach you." _

_ Shawn turns to see the Boss coming out from behind the opened basement door. Chastising himself for not checking there, Shawn tries to back away, only to be met by the Enforcer grabbing his arms from behind. _

_ "First, I get a kiss," Boss says as he leans forwards. _

_ Shawn bites his lips, causing the Boss to stumble back. _

_ "You son of bitch," the Boss yells as he slaps Shawn's face, hard. _

_ Shawn falls to the floor as the enforcer punches him in the stomach. Laying in the fetal position, Shawn flinches when the Boss strokes his cheek. _

_ "Now Shawnie, what am I going to do with you?" _

_ Still unable to talk, Shawn sends the Boss a glare. The Boss in return stands up and smiles evilly. _

_ "Have a nice trip." _

_ Shawn looks confused for a few seconds until the boss nudges him over, just as Shawn realizes that he is in the doorway. Arms protectively over his head, Shawn tries to ignore all the fresh bumps and bruises that he's receiving. That is, until he gets to the bottom and hears a crack and pain explodes in his leg. _

_ As Shawn withers in agony, he can just barely make out the Boss and Enforcer making their way down the stairs. _

_ "Oh, don't think a little broken bone is gonna stop me from having my fun tonight." _

X

X

X

"SHAWN!" *Smack*

"Ow!" Shawn Spencer exclaimed, rubbing his arm as he turned to face his soon-to-be-ex best friend, Burton Guster, known by most as Gus. "What did you do that for?"

"You were screaming like the devil was after you and not answering me," Gus said as he tried to read Shawn's face.

Schooling his features, Shawn asked, "Then why couldn't you just shake my shoulder like any sane person instead of leaving bruises?"

"I tried that, but you still weren't responding. I was getting worried." Gus sighed as he looked forward. "Do you still want to go in?"

Shawn turned and looked at the front of the Santa Barbara Police Station. Opening the car door, Shawn said. "Yeah, I want to see Jules and Lassie. I haven't seen them for a while."

Scoffing, Gus got out and walked around to give Shawn a hand. "You just saw Juliet Saturday, it has not been that long."

"Well, I haven't seen Lassie or anyone else from the station since Wednesday, therefore it's time for a visit." Shawn carefully balanced on his crutches. "Man, I can't wait to lose these extra limbs."

Closing the door and locking it, Gus said, "Yeah, me too. But it's going to be another couple of weeks, right?"

Shawn nodded as he started up the stairs. "Yep. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see how my leg is fairing. I also have a physical therapy session. Those things wear me out."

"They're supposed to; if you're sore, then you know it's working. No pain, no gain. "

"Ha ha ha," Shawn replied as they stopped at the top so Shawn could catch his breath. "I hate that expression. Why does it have to hurt? I mean, you were obviously in pain when you broke whatever it is you're going in for, isn't physical therapy supposed to help ease the pain? It's just not fair!"

"I hear you. Are you ready to go in?"

Shawn nodded as Gus opened the door.

When they entered the bullpen, they did not see either Juliet or Carlton. Trying to keep his disappointment from showing, Shawn spotted Buzz McNab coming back from the break room carrying coffee.

"Nabby!" Shawn greeted as he hobbled closer.

"Hey, Shawn. Gus." Buzz responded as he detoured over to them. "Wow, it is so great to hear your voice again."

"Thanks man! It's great to be heard."

"Hey, Francie made some cookies for you and I was supposed to drop them off on my way home from work, but this works just as well. I'll go get them."

"I love cookies!" Turning to Gus, Shawn smiled. "See Gus, it's like fate!"

Before Gus could respond, Buzz came back with a tin. "Here you go. They're gingersnaps, Francie's specialty."

"Awesome!" Shawn tucked his crutches under his arms as he took the tin and proceeded to eat a few. "Not as good as Pineapple cookies, but they're still up there."

"Shawn! We just ate breakfast not even 30 minutes ago! How can you still be hungry?" Gus admonished as he took the tin away.

"But I'm always hungry!" Shawn whined as he tried to get the tin back. He almost fell over, except for Buzz's quick reflexes. "Thanks man."

"No problem." Buzz smiled.

"Hey! Have you seen Jules or Lassie?" Shawn asked as he tried to look around Buzz's huge figure.

Looking around the nearly deserted bullpen, Buzz shrugged as he replied, "I don't know about Detective Lassiter, but I saw Juliet heading into the break room with her mug."

"Thanks Buzz. I guess we'll wait at her desk then. Tell Francie thanks."

"Oh, you're welcome. You know, she also makes fabulous . . . ."

"MCNAB!"

They all turned to see Carlton Lassiter leaving the Chief's office.

"I need you over here for a minute." Carlton ordered as headed to his desk.

"Yes sir," Buzz replied before turning back to Shawn and Gus. "Sorry guys, I've got to go. Nice to see you again."

"Thanks Nabby." "Bye Buzz." The two replied as they watched him leave. Starting towards Juliet's desk, Shawn tried to catch what Carlton was telling Buzz, but he was being too quiet. Whatever it was, it had to have been big by the way Carlton kept gesturing wildly while he packed his briefcase.

Shawn was just sitting down in Juliet O'Hara's chair as she rounded the corner carrying her mug of coffee. "Hey Jules!"

"Hey Guys! What are you doing down here?" Juliet took a sip of her coffee as Gus stood behind Shawn.

"Nothing much, just checking in with my favorite detectives." Seeing Juliet blush, Shawn asked, "So, do you know what's up with Lassie? He seems very excited."

They all looked over to see Buzz nodding and then heading off to his own desk while Carlton straightened his.

"No, I don't know, sorry. He got a phone call about 10 minutes again and then headed into the chief's office. He shut the door and even closed the blinds."

"Hmm, very interesting," Shawn muttered as Carlton picked up his briefcase and jacket before coming over to them.

"O'Hara, I'm going out of town today, I should be back sometime tomorrow evening." Carlton barely stopped for her response of "okay" before turning and leaving.

"How rude!" Shawn said, trying to sound offended. "He didn't even acknowledge us! I have half a mind to follow him!"

"Shawn!" Juliet sighed. "Just give him a break. He seems really excited about whatever it is he's about to do."

"Yeah, and I wish I knew what it was." Shawn said as he started to get up, only to have Gus push him back down. "Dude! What is your problem?"

"Shawn, I did not bring you all the way down here to try and get a case. We were just here to say hi and then we were going to see if you wanted anything out of the storage unit."

Sighing, Shawn said, "Fine. Are you coming by for dinner tonight, Jules? My dad's fishing right now, so he'll probably make whatever he catches."

"I don't think I can make it. There's a MLK Jr. celebration at city hall tonight and I got assigned to help with security. It's usually one of the quiet assignments; but it can take as long as 4 hours. As long as nothing happens, the earliest that I could get to your house is 8."

"Then how about pizza? I'll call in an order for 8:30. My dad usually goes to bed around 9, so we'll have the first floor all to ourselves for as long as we want." Shawn put on his innocent face.

Laughing, Juliet replied, "I've got to work in the morning, but I could stay for a few hours."

"It's date, then."

"Okay," Juliet said as she patted his cheek. "See you then."

Gus rolled his eyes as he slapped Shawn's shoulder. "Come on Casanova, I promised your dad that we'd be back for lunch. We've got to get going. Bye Juliet."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

By the time Carlton arrived at his destination, he was pissed. The only seats available on the airplane were in economy and both times he had to sit next to chatting old grandmothers who didn't know how to turn up their hearing aids and the one kept whacking him when he didn't respond. Since he was not planning on spending more than one day out here, he only had a carryon duffel bag as well as his briefcase, so he was able to get through the airport quickly

To make his day even better, it was at least 30 degrees cooler than Santa Barbara, meaning that his suit jacket was nowhere near thick enough to keep him warm. Stopping at some benches, Carlton fished out his raincoat that he barely remembered to grab. As long as it did not get too much colder, he should be fine. Making his way quickly through the airport, Carlton was able to get a taxi fairly easily.

"Sheriff's Office," Carlton barked as he leaned back and stretched his legs. The taxi driver seemed to sense the bad mood Carlton was in and quietly pulled out into traffic. It was the middle of rush hour, which did not improve his mood with all the slow drivers and constant car horns.

Arriving at his destination, Carlton quickly paid the taxi driver and rushed into the building. Heading to the front desk, he barely got out an "Excuse me," before the lady cut him off.

"I'm sorry, but the Sheriff's Office closes at 5, which is in 10 minutes. So unless it's an emergency or a very quick visit, I suggest that you wait until tomorrow." The old bat did not even look up from her typing.

Taking a deep breath and barely suppressing the urge to draw his gun, Carlton growled, "I'm Head Detective Carlton Lassiter of the Santa Barbara Police Department in California. I'm here to see Captain Richard Jones regarding a case. Now, I just spent over 5 hours on cramped airplanes to get here. It is fricking cold out there and I am not leaving this station until I meet with this captain. Now, are you going to tell him that I'm here or should I just head back there myself?" Carlton glared at the little old lady as she finally looked up at him.

Probably thinking that it would be easier to just comply, she picked up her phone. After a short conversation, she put down the phone and said "He'll be right out."

Smiling tightly, Carlton said, "Thank you," as he backed away from the desk a bit.

A man, about 10 years older and 50 pounds heavier than Carlton, came out and offered his hand. "Ah, Detective Lassiter. You may call me Rick. Welcome to Kearney, Nebraska. Did you have a nice flight?"

"No," Carlton said as he picked up his bag. "Captain, can we please skip the pleasantries and get right to the case. It was a long flight and I quite frankly want to get this over with."

"Of course." Turning towards the receptionist, he said. "Ma, why don't you go home? And tell Crissy that I'm gonna be really late."

Sending Carlton a glare, Ms. Jones nodded and started to pack up her stuff.

"Don't mind her. She doesn't like new people." Rick said as he led the way to the back. "As I said on the phone, we think we have footage of your man parking and exiting a vehicle a couple of weeks ago."

Stopping in front of a TV at least 20 years old, Rick turned it on and pressed play. They watched as a black early-90's Jeep Wrangler pulled into a parking space somewhat crookedly. After about a minute, a figure exited the vehicle and slowly limped towards the entrance of the bus station.

Pressing stop, Carlton nodded. "Yeah, that's Shawn Spencer. Have you gotten a positive ID on the plates yet?"

Picking up a file, Rick leaned against a desk. "We only got partial plates since it was dark but we did get a hit. They're registered to a Tom Ingrid, 38 years old, works as a janitor at the local hospital but no one has seen him since he left for vacation over 3 weeks ago. He's apparently not a very social person, barely anyone could tell me much about him besides being quiet and efficient."

"According to Spencer, he's dead. Have you contacted the brother yet?"

"Nope. Sam Ingrid, 34 years old. Works as a personal trainer in Grand Island. He's listed his place of residence as the same as his brother's, near the railroad tracks."

"Can we go check that out?"

"We can ask a few questions but we can't do much without a warrant."

"How long will it take to get one?"

"Tomorrow morning at the earliest."

"Well then," Carlton put his coat on. "Let's go ask some questions."

* * *

Arriving at the house, Carlton looked around the street. "Spencer was right, the neighborhood is practically deserted."

"Well you know, with the times some people have trouble just holding onto their homes, let alone finding time to keep them maintained."

"Whatever. Let's get this over with." Carlton said as he started up the drive. "There's the Jeep."

Carlton hurried up the steps and knocked on the door. A soft cough made him turn around. "Yes?"

"I appreciate that you want to get this done as quickly as possible, but please remember that this is my turf. Therefore let me take the lead, Detective." Rick said as he got between Carlton and the door in order to ring the doorbell.

Fuming slightly, Carlton sighed, "Fine, but I reserve the right to ask any questions that come to mind, got it Captain?"

"Sure thing."

They waited almost 5 minutes before admitting defeat. Taking a quick glance around, Carlton started walking around the house.

"Excuse me Detective, but what exactly do you think you are doing?"

"Just taking a look around. I'm not going to enter without probable cause." Taking a quick sweep of the yard, Carlton's eyes stopped on the sole tree and the disturbed ground beneath it. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Rick asked as he moved to follow him.

"This mound of dirt." Carlton squatted down to examine it. "It's about 6 feet by 2 feet. The perfect size for a grave. Spencer said that they buried the other bodies, but this is too new, possibly only a few weeks old." Standing up, Carlton headed back to the front.

As they reached the street, he asked, "How soon can you get that search warrant?"

"9am at the earliest." Rick said as he unlocked the car.

"I'll meet you here at 9:05am."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Shawn was pacing back and forth on his crutches in the living room as his dad watched. 8pm came and went and it was nearing 9 with no sign of Juliet.

"Shawn, she'll be here."

"What if something happened? She should have called to let me know that she would be late."

"Shawn." Henry got up and stood in front of Shawn, causing him to stop. "She'll be here. You said that she had to be at the MLK thing tonight, right? Well, those things are a hassle to get people to leave. Why don't you sit down? You've been pacing for a good 20 minutes and I think that your arms need a break."

Shawn looked down to see his arms were shaking. "Okay, fine. I'll sit." Shawn practically collapsed in the armchair and let his crutches fall to the floor. He heard his dad huff before rearranging the crutches and then going into the kitchen.

Hearing the doorbell, Shawn started to get up, only to have his dad push him back down. "Shawn, just sit and drink this water. I'll get the door." Handing over the glass, Henry headed to the door. Sending a glare at his father's back, Shawn sipped the water. Listening to his dad's side of the conversation, it turned out to only be the pizza.

As Shawn reached forward to put the empty glass on the table, his cell phone rang. Quickly grabbing it, he saw that it was Juliet. Letting it ring a few times as he caught his breath, Shawn looked over to see his dad still talking to the pizza guy. Taking one more deep breath, he answered.

"Hey Jules! . . . No it's okay. . . No, I wasn't too worried. . .10 minutes? Yeah that's fine. The pizza literally just got here, so that works out perfectly. . . Okay see ya, Bye Jules."

Hanging up, Shawn closed his eyes. He heard his father bid the pizza guy goodnight and enter the living room. Smiling a bit, Shawn teased, "I didn't know that it takes 10 minutes to pay for a pizza. Do you set up a date or something?"

Receiving a smack to the back of the head made Shawn open his eyes. "No, Smartass. She's the daughter of one of the guys I used to work with. I hadn't seen her since she was 10, so I asked about her and her family. She's in college now, going to become a lawyer." Noticing Shawn's cell phone still in his hand, Henry asked, "Who called?"

"Jules. She'll be here in about 10 minutes." Shawn started fiddling with the phone.

"Okay, did you want me to leave?" Not getting an answer, Henry touched his shoulder. "Hey, are you alright kid?"

Looking up, Shawn bit his lip. "I just don't know if I can do this. Jules and I haven't been completely alone since I got back and I don't know what to do."

"Just be yourself."

Laughing, Shawn looked down at his leg cast. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Shawn, Juliet is a good kid. As are you. You two are good together. I noticed it 4 years ago and I noticed it last week. Just don't think too much about it."

"I can't believe that I'm taking advice from my old man." Shawn mumbled as he rubbed his face.

"You'll be fine. Now, I'm going upstairs and turning on the radio. Don't make too much noise and make sure you lock up."

"Thanks dad," Shawn called as his father headed to the stairs. Henry just waved in response.

Waiting until his dad was all the way up the stairs, Shawn sighed as he got up. They folded up the rollaway bed a few days ago since Shawn started sleeping in his old room and the couch was still in the garage. When Shawn and Gus visited the storage unit, Shawn had called his dad so that they could bring a couple of his chairs to the house. His dad was a bit opposed when he saw them but figured that it would only be for a couple weeks until Shawn got over his fear of couches.

Going into the kitchen, Shawn grabbed a couple of sodas and napkins. He had to leave his one crutch next to the fridge. As he was going back to the kitchen to retrieve it, the doorbell rang. Turning his head to look, his crutch got caught in the doorway and he fell, making a lot of racket on the way down. Two sets of footsteps came rushing to meet him.

"Shawn?" "Kid, are you okay?"

Keeping his eyes closed, Shawn rubbed the back of his head where he had smacked it on the floor. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Here, why don't you sit up."

Using the proffered hand, Shawn sat up only to lean his head onto his raised knee.

"You sure you're okay kid?"

"Yes dad, I'm sure!" Shawn snapped as he glared at his father. "I just got a little dizzy, nothing to worry about."

Sighing, Henry grabbed Shawn's arm and lifted him up. Shawn swayed for a moment and he grabbed the doorway.

"What the hell dad?!"

"You said you were fine, that means that you should be able to stand by yourself." Henry bent down to grab the crutches but only found one. "Where's the other crutch Shawn?"

"It's by the fridge. That's where I was going when I fell."

Handing the one to Shawn, Henry went to the fridge for the other one. Juliet took a step forward to touch the back of his head, causing him to hiss in pain.

"Shawn, Are you honestly going to tell me that you're fine?" Juliet looked at him skeptically.

"Yes. It's nothing." Shawn shivered as his dad placed a bag of frozen vegetables against his new bump.

"Sorry kid, but it'll help the swelling go down. Now I'm going back upstairs, call me if you need anything." Handing the second crutch to Juliet he marched upstairs.

"Please excuse my father, he gets very cranky when he's up past his bedtime." Shawn threw the frozen veggies on the coffee table before taking his second crutch from Juliet.

"He's just worried about you. You didn't see his face when he got to you a couple of minutes ago."

"I know he cares. We've just been under the same roof too long and it's starting to get to the both of us." Shawn sat down in one of the armchairs as Juliet claimed another.

"Just go easy on him." Juliet reached forward and opened the pizza box.

"I can try, but that's how my dad and I function, we bicker with each other. It's normal for us."

"If you say so." Taking a bite of pizza, Juliet asked, "So what are we watching tonight?"

"Well, Gus and I stopped at the store and bought some of the movies that I've missed. What do you say to Harry Potter 7?"

"I'd say that it's in 2 parts and each one is almost 3 hours long. Pick something under 2 hours."

"Tron: Legacy?"

"Okay."

* * *

As the credits were rolling, Juliet was laughing hysterically as Shawn told her about one of his and Gus' many childhood exploits.

"We didn't even make it halfway across the lawn before my dad caught us. We had to wash off in the yard and then go back and apologize to the old bat even though she did more harm to us then we did to her dogs."

"I can't believe that she actually had a skunk!"

"Technically, it lived under her porch." Shawn yawned as he took a sip of his water.

Standing up, Juliet grabbed her purse. "I should go. I have to be at work in 9 hours; and with Carlton gone, I'm going to have more work to do."

"Okay. I might stop by Wednesday with smoothies!"

"Okay," Hesitating, Juliet bent down and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." Shawn watched until the door closed behind her. Sighing, he muttered, "Great, even a kiss on the cheek from Jules makes me nervous."

Grabbing his crutches, Shawn did a quick clean up before checking the doors and making his way upstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

When Carlton arrived the next morning, there were already 5 or 6 vehicles in front of the house, including a coroner's van. He strode up to Captain Jones, who was assigning teams.

"Captain," Carlton greeted as he removed his sunglasses.

"Ah, Carlton. We're just waiting on word from the Judge's office about the warrant and one of the deputies is going to bring it down. You're on my team inside the house. We're going to secure the main floor before splitting up. One team will go upstairs while our team goes to the basement. If what your boy says is true, that's where the treasure is."

"Alright then." Carlton said as a young recruit hurried over with a cell phone.

"Captain, we have the go ahead."

"Thank you Edward. Oh, and Detective? While I shouldn't even be letting you in the house until it's clear, please try not to fire your weapon unless it is absolutely necessary."

"Of course," Carlton gritted as he squared his shoulders.

The Captain nodded before turning towards everyone else. "Okay troops, let's go!"

While the first floor was in desperate need of a maid, there was nothing out of the ordinary. But when they entered the basement, Carlton knew they had the right place. It was a mess. There was blood and other bodily fluids all over and around a couch in the first room. The straps on the couch were worn but still strong and the torture devices had blood on them as well. A few of the younger officers had to duck out quickly or else risk contaminating the scene. There was a faint odor of blood and decaying flesh in the air. And even though there was no body in the basement, Carlton had a pretty good idea where it was.

Before Carlton left around 11am to head back to Santa Barbara, the outside team had managed to uncover 3 skeletons as well as the slightly decomposed body of whom they assumed to be Tom Ingrid. With the promise of calling Carlton if anything else turned up, the Captain was somewhat relieved to see him go.

* * *

It was late afternoon as Shawn was struggling to get into the house. He had just spent the last hour in physical therapy and he was so ready for a nap. Needless to say, he was tired and sore. As he hobbled into the kitchen, his dad was walking behind him, ready to catch Shawn if needed. When he reached the kitchen table, Shawn collapsed into one of the chairs, letting the crutches fall to the floor.

Chuckling, Henry bent down and picked them up. "Jeez kid, you must be tired."

Shawn folded his arms on the table, placing his head on top. "Maybe if someone hadn't made me walk over 2 miles after a grueling torture session." His voice slightly muffled.

"It was hardly even a 5 minutes walk. Besides, you're the one who didn't want to wait for me to pull the truck around." Henry learned the crutches against the wall and went to the sink to fill a glass of water.

Shawn was so tired, he did not notice when his dad had placed the glass in front of him. Sighing, Henry shook out 2 of the prescribed painkillers before gently shaking Shawn's shoulder.

"Hey kid." Shawn looked up at him with sleepy, half-lidded eyes. "Why don't you take a couple of pills and then go take a nap."

Nodding, Shawn reached out a hand for them, swallowing them dry before drinking half the glass of water. Then Shawn put his head down, fully intending on sleeping right there.

"Shawn." When Shawn didn't respond, Henry rolled his eyes before trying again. "Shawn, come on. I know you don't fall asleep that fast."

Shawn looked up at his dad with defiance, even though it was not as strong as it used to be.

"Come on kid. It's not going to do you any good to sleep in this chair. Let's get you upstairs."

Still looking half asleep, Shawn stood up on wobbly legs and reached for his crutches. Henry walked behind him with a hand on his back, hoping he would not fall.

After 3 excruciating minutes, they were finally at the top of the stairs. Shawn leaned against the wall, unsure if he could make it. Henry gently took one of the crutches and wrapped his arm around Shawn's back.

"Come on kid, you're almost there." Leaning heavily on Henry, they made it down the hall and into Shawn's old room where he collapsed on the bed before Henry could move the blankets.

"Shawn, at least scoot to one side so that I can get part of the blanket on you." Shawn did not reply, already fast asleep.

"I guess I was wrong. You can fall asleep that fast." Henry grabbed one of the extra blankets from the hall closet and draped it over his son. Shawn opened one eye to look at him. "Go to sleep kid. I'm heading to the store before dinner since we're running low on food."

Shawn nodded and closed his eyes. Sighing, Henry grabbed a piece of paper off Shawn's desk and wrote him a note saying that he would be back within the hour.

As Henry was walking to his truck, he got the eerie feeling that he was being watched. Not seeing anyone, he got in his truck, deciding that he would make it a fast trip.

* * *

Carlton was halfway across the Santa Barbara airport, ready to get some dinner and call it a night when his phone rang. Grumbling, he took out his phone and barked, "Lassiter."

"Yes, Detective Lassiter? This is Captain Jones. I just got some important information about Sam Ingrid that I thought you might want to know."

Carlton waited a beat, but when the other man didn't continue, he growled, "If it is so important, then get on with it!"

"Yes, well, um. We were finally able to contact the girlfriend. She said he left last night to meet a friend and tie up some loose ends."

Getting an unsettling feeling in his gut, Carlton asked, "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"No sir. We contacted the airline and his plane arrived early this morning. In Santa Barbara."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Carlton quickly hung up and dialed Henry's cell number. The call went straight to voicemail. Getting a very bad feeling, Carlton hurried through the airport as he tried the house phone and Shawn's number. Both rang several times before also going to voicemail.

"Dammit," Carlton growled as he pushed his way through the crowd waiting for taxis and headed to the short term parking lot. He quickly dialed a different number as he bolted across the blacktop. Luckily, this person answered right away.

_ "Vick." _

"Chief, it's Lassiter."

_ "Carlton? Are you back already?" _

"Yes, Ma'am. But we have a situation."

_ "Explain." _

"One of Spencer's kidnappers is in the area and I haven't been able to get a hold of either Spencer."

_ "Okay. Where are you?" _

"I've just reached my car and will be at the Spencer house in less than 20 minutes, 15 if I push it." Carlton quickly pulled out his keys and unlocked the door.

_ "Alright. I'll keep trying to reach them and send back up. Let me know when you arrive at the Spencer's." _

"Yes Ma'am." Carlton hurriedly hung up as he started up the vehicle and tore out of the parking lot.

* * *

Henry came in the house with groceries and put them on the counter. He heard a faint rustling noise but contributed it to the trees. He pulled out his cell to charge it since the battery had died while he was out. Turning back to the bags, he heard a thud and a dragging noise coming from upstairs.

"Shawn?" Henry called as he started up the stairs. About half way up, the house phone rang. He grabbed the phone in the hallway as he proceeded to Shawn's old bedroom.

"Hello?"

_ "Henry, thank god." _ The relief evident in her voice, Henry was thrown off for a moment.

"Karen? What's wrong?" He opened Shawn's door, only to find a messy bed.

_ "Are you and Shawn okay?" _

"What? What type of question is that?" Henry asked as he turned to check the bathroom.

_ "Detective Lassiter tried to call you but there wasn't an answer on any of the phones." _

Henry was about to knock when he noticed that the bathroom door was slightly open. "I was out and my phone died on me. It's charging right now." Pushing the door wider, he found an empty room with the window open.

_ "What about Shawn?" _

Henry closed the window and heard a soft thumping noise coming from Shawn's room. "What about him? He was wiped out from his physical therapy session so he stayed here to sleep."

" _ Have you checked on him?" _

"I'm trying to but I . . . Karen what's going on? What do you and Carlton know that I don't?" Henry pulled the phone away from his ear as he entered Shawn's room. "Shawn! Where are you kid?!"

_ "Lassiter managed to uncover the names of Shawn's kidnappers." _

Seeing the slightly opened closet door, Henry walked to it slowly as he replied, "There's more to it than that! Now are you going to tell me what you know or do I have to come down there and . . . . Oh my God, Shawn!"

Henry almost dropped the phone from the shock of what he was seeing. Shawn was in the far corner of the closet, rocking back and forth, clutching his legs to his chest as tightly as possible. His shirt was ripped and he only had a pair of bloody boxers on. Scanning the rest of the room, Henry noticed that the extra blanket seemed to have been ripped away from the bed while the rest of the bedding was a mess. One of the windows was open and had a smear of blood on the window sill.

"Karen, something happened. I need backup here right away. I need, Oh god, I need an ambulance and crime scene unit. And a perimeter search." Henry quickly ran to his room.

_ "Henry? What happened." _

As Henry took out his gun and checked it, he replied, "I'm not sure, but I think someone broke into the house and rap-attacked my son." He took a deep breath before heading back to Shawn's room.

_ "Oh god. Henry, where are you?" _

"I'm in Shawn's room. He's hiding in the closet right now. I have my gun in case the bastard tries to come back." Henry did a quick search of the rest of the room and outside the window.

_ "Okay. Henry, listen to me! Lassiter had a feeling that something would happen. He'll be there in a few minutes. I want you to lock the door and attend to Shawn." _

"Okay," Henry replied as he stepped back into the closet. "Shawn?" Henry whispered as he reached a hand out for his son's shoulder.

Unfortunately, Shawn reacted by whimpering and flinching away from the contact.

_ "How is he?" _

"He, he won't let me touch him, he hasn't even looked at me yet." Henry tried to keep his voice steady, but he knew that he was failing.

_ "Okay, Henry? I'm going to have Carlton secure the rest of the house and then come check on you two. I've also sent over a couple of patrols. I'll be there in 10 minutes. Okay? Henry, answer me!" _

"Yes, okay."

_ "Alright, in the meantime, try and calm him down. And make sure to cover him up. He's probably gone into shock by now. I'm going to let you go now okay?" _

"Yeah, thanks Karen." Henry heard the line click and stood up. He pulled Shawn's robe off the back of the closet door and gently placed it over his son. Shawn flinched but did not try to shake the thing off.

Settling in the doorway of the closet, Henry started talking to Shawn as his son continued his steady rocking.

"You're okay kid, I'm right here. I'm not going to leave you alone again until that bastard is caught."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Carlton had just pulled up to the Spencer house when his cell went off. Seeing that it was the Chief, Carlton answered before exiting the vehicle. "Lassiter."

_ "Carlton, we have a situation. It looks like the perp managed to get to Shawn while Henry was out. I need you to do a perimeter search, both inside and out. The guy might still be around." _

"Okay. I just arrived at the house." Carlton took out his gun and checked it.

_ "Good. They are in Shawn's bedroom with the door locked and Henry has his gun. Henry knows that you're there and that I'm coming over with back up. Be careful." _

"Yes Ma'am." Carlton quickly disconnected as he proceeded around the house.

* * *

About 5 minutes after hanging up with Karen, Henry was still quietly talking to Shawn, telling him whatever stories popped into his head. Shawn had not acknowledged his father yet, but he had calmed down, almost to the point of falling asleep.

Hearing a gentle knock on the bedroom door, Henry quickly picked up his gun and stood up. He closed the closet door before calling out, "Who's there?"

"It's Lassiter."

Relaxing a bit, Henry unlocked the door to find Carlton holding his own weapon pointed towards the floor.

"How is he?" Carlton asked as he took a look around the room.

Sighing, Henry went back to the closet. "He hasn't said a word and won't let me touch him. He looks about ready to drop."

"Yeah, a traumatic event can do that." Carlton replied as he walked around the room. "Did you find anything important?"

"I didn't really look. There's some blood on the windowsill, but it could be Shawn's."

Carlton squatted down next to the bed. "There's some blood and semen on the sheets here."

"Oh God," Henry sighed as he leaned against the door.

"Henry, are you okay?" Carlton stood and took a step forward.

"Yeah, I'll be fine as soon as that bastard is caught."

Carlton nodded as his phone went off. "Lassiter…. Yes, Chief, I cleared the house and surrounding area, there's no one…. Okay. I'll let him know." Hanging up, he turned to Henry. "The Chief's outside with additional units and an ambulance. She's coming in with the paramedics."

Henry nodded as he looked back at Shawn, who seemed to be lightly snoring. "Thanks Carlton."

* * *

An hour later found Henry pacing the nearly empty waiting room with Gus and Carlton sitting quietly. Carlton had told Henry what little he knew about the Ingrids, which only seemed to make him more agitated.

"Henry, why don't you sit down?" Carlton asked as Henry made another pass.

"I can't. I'm too angry to sit down."

Sighing, Carlton tried again, "Henry, you really need to calm . . . ."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! THAT BASTARD WAS IN MY HOUSE AND ATTACKED MY SON!"

While Gus seemed to shrink under the wrath of Papa Bear Spencer, Carlton stood up and got right in Henry's face. "If you don't calm down right this damn minute, you won't get to see your son right away. You'll either be leaving in cuffs or given a sedative. So if you'd rather see your son today instead of tomorrow, I suggest that you SIT DOWN!"

The glaring contest seemed to last a full minute before Henry deflated and rubbed his face. "I'm sorry, Carlton. It's just not fair." Henry stepped back and collapsed into the closest chair. "Why did this have to happen?! Shawn was just getting back to his old self again. Laughing, joking, being a general pain-in-the-ass. He should have been safe in his own house, his own room. Why did any of this have to happen to him?!"

Taking a deep breath, Carlton took the seat across from Henry so that they were eye to eye. "I know this is hard, but he'll get through this. He's too stubborn and obnoxious not to. Of course, nothing will never be the same again, but that doesn't mean that this has to keep him down. I've seen a lot of abuse victims make remarkable recoveries. Shawn just has to know that there are people who will fight for him."

Scoffing, Henry shook his head. "Thanks Carlton."

Carlton nodded as he leaned back in the seat and checked his phone. After about 5 minutes, a doctor finally came in. "Family for Shawn Spencer."

Taking a deep breath, Henry stood up and followed wordlessly as the doctor led him to a private room. Once they were seated, Henry finally spoke. "How's my son."

Sighing, the doctor said, "Physically, he'll be fine. We did a rape exam and there were some tears that led to the bleeding. They seemed to have closed themselves off, but it'll hurt to move for a while. There were quite a few defensive wounds and some made from a knife. Only a wound in his left shoulder was deep enough for stitches. The rest have been cleaned and wrapped. He'll be fine to go home tonight."

The doctor paused at this, making Henry look up and ask, "And Mentally?"

"As you know, they administered a sedative for the ambulance ride but he has yet to wake up. We weren't too concerned given his history and preferred to keep him out of it for the exam. As soon as he wakes up, I'd like to have the on-call psychologist . . . ."

"No." Henry whispered.

"I'm sorry?"

"No, I know my son and he won't want to speak to a psychologist. And if he has to, he knows exactly what to say to make them back off since his mother is one."

"If you're sure?" Henry nodded. "Okay, then I'll let the nurses know that you can take him home as soon as he wakes up." The doctor said as he stood up.

"Hey, doc?" Henry called as the doctor reached the door. "As you might have noticed, Shawn has a cast on his leg. Would it be alright if we borrowed a wheelchair? I don't want him walking if he's this out of it."

"Of course, I'll let the nurses know to get the paperwork."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

When they pulled up to the house in Carlton's car around 8 o'clock at night, Shawn had yet to say anything or even move more than necessary. He was currently sitting in the back seat and staring out the window.

Sparing a glance at Shawn, Carlton said softly, "So Henry, there will be at least 2 cops stationed outside your home at all times, one in front and one in the back."

"Thanks," Henry said as he undid his seatbelt. He was stopped from opening his door by Carlton's hand on his arm.

"There's something else you should know. Every officer who signed up offered to do so off duty and without pay."

"Including yourself?"

"Especially me. I have the 4-8am shift."

Smiling, Henry patted Carlton's hand. "Thanks. That means a lot."

"No problem." Carlton let go and undid his seatbelt. "Shall we get him inside?"

"Yeah." Henry got out and opened Shawn's door as Carlton went to get the wheelchair. "Hey kid, are you with me?" Henry touched Shawn's shoulder. Shawn flinched before silently turning his expressionless eyes on his father. "You ready to go inside, kid?"

Shawn nodded as he unbuckled and turned to get both his legs outside the car. He flinched when Henry put an arm around his waist but responded by gripping his father's shoulder.

Once they were inside, Henry stopped Shawn at the kitchen table before he headed to the fridge. He noticed that the groceries have been put away and he sent a silent question at Carlton.

"Yeah, well. I'm pretty sure that I overheard Vick ordering one of the rookies to put the food away neatly."

Shaking his head, Henry opened the fridge and peered around. "It's a bit late to make anything complicated so how about canned soup and turkey sandwiches?"

"Sounds good. Got any beer?"

"There's one bottle in here. The rest is still in the truck."

Nodding, Carlton moved to the door. "I'll go get it."

"Thanks," Henry replied as he started the soup. As he was getting the things out for sandwiches, he heard a small voice. "Dad?"

Setting the stuff on the island, Henry quickly knelt next to Shawn, who was still staring straight ahead. "Yeah kid?"

Taking a deep breath, Shawn asked quietly, "Are things ever going to be back to normal?"

Placing a hand on Shawn's knee and feeling the slight trembling, Henry whispered, "I don't know, kid. All we can do is keep trying to live each day."

Shawn turned to face Henry with tears falling down his cheek. "What if I don't want to keep trying? What if I just want to give up."

"Aw kid." Henry reached a hand up to wipe a few tears away. Shawn flinched before turning his face into the hand and closed his eyes. Leaving his hand there, Henry rubbed Shawn's cheekbone. "You have so many people behind you, offering help. You've touched so many lives and they are all waiting their turn to help you out. You don't want to disappoint them, do you?"

"Why not? I've always been a disappointment."

"Hey, I've never said that and I never will. You might have done a lot of things that I don't approve of, but that doesn't mean that you're a disappointment. You make people happy and you want to help people, how could I ever find fault in that."

Opening his eyes, Shawn smiled sadly. "But how do I go on from here. Knowing what happened, what can still happen. How do I sleep at night knowing that he could come back and do it again. He threatened you, dad. If I didn't cooperate, he was going to wait until you got home and make me watch him kill you." Shawn's whole body started shaking with sobs. "I would never have forgiven myself if that had happened."

"Shawn, look at me, kid." Shawn slowly lifted his eyes as Henry placed his hands on Shawn's shoulders. "I'm not going to let that bastard touch you again. You have the whole police department trying to find this monster. We will catch him. If he tries to get to you again, I will kill him with my bare hands, understand?" Shawn nodded.

Henry pulled him into a hug. "You are not alone, remember that." Shawn's hands gripped tightly on his father's shirt in response.

After Shawn calmed down a bit, Henry pulled away and wiped the tears from Shawn's face. "Are you okay now?"

Shawn nodded as he whispered, "Yeah, thanks dad."

"You're welcome kid," Henry smoothed Shawn's hair a bit before he stood up. "Why don't you go into the bathroom and clean up while I make dinner. I should probably also let Carlton know that the hugfest is over."

Laughing slightly, Shawn asked, "What if Lassie wants a hug?"

Grumbling, Carlton walked into the kitchen with a couple packs of beer, "I certainly do not. You don't have enough alcohol to make me want one."

Chuckling, Henry turned back to the stove.

* * *

A few hours later found Henry sitting out on the porch with a cup of coffee in one hand, the phone in the other. He could hear his son snoring in the living room. Shawn had barely eaten half his soup before falling asleep and Carlton left soon after to get some sleep before protection detail. Picking up the phone, Henry dialed a familiar number and waited. Being almost midnight here, he knew the other person would not answer.

After 5 rings, the voicemail finally picked up:  _ "Hello, You've reached the personal number of Madeleine Spencer. I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but if you leave your name, number and reason for calling, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks." _

Taking a deep breath, Henry waited for the beep before talking:

"Hey Maddie, it's Henry. I know that we've been playing a weird sort of phone tag lately, never seeming to catch each other, and I'm sorry about that. *sigh* Listen, something happened and I really think that you should get down here. It's Shawn and this isn't something that I should be saying on the phone; let alone leaving on an answering machine. Besides, the kid told me last week that I wasn't allowed to let you know what was happening without his permission. You know how stubborn he can be; just like me right? Anyways, like I said, you need to get here, Shawn is really hurting and I don't think that I'll be enough this time. I'll explain everything once you get here. *sigh* I've got to get back. Just, please come. Bye."

Hanging up, Henry sat on the porch for a few more minutes before heading back inside.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

When Carlton came into work the next morning, he was tired. He barely got any sleep while in Nebraska and last night was a waste as well. Heading straight for the coffee makers, he happened to look at Juliet's desk and noticed that she was already in the building somewhere. After about 10 minutes with no sign of her, Carlton tried her cell phone. Getting no reply, he turned to Buzz who happened to be walking past.

"McNab! Have you seen O'Hara recently?"

"N-no sir. I last saw her a half hour ago when she stormed off." Buzz sounded unsure whether he should continue or not.

"Well, what happened?" Carlton snapped, so not in the mood.

"She, um she was putting something on your desk and accidentally knocked some folders over. When she stood up, she seemed very unnerved and left."

Mentally reviewing what files were on his desk when he had arrived, Carlton quickly stood up. "Crap. Where did you see her heading?"

"Oh, um upstairs? I'm not sure." Buzz seemed to shrink even more under Carlton's change of mood.

Not giving Buzz a second glance, Carlton headed upstairs, knowing exactly what Juliet had seen and where she would be now.

When Carlton reached the seldom used women's restroom, he found the door locked. Knocking hesitantly, Carlton called out, "O'Hara, are you in there?"

"Go away Carlton! You are one of the last people that I want to see right now!"

Taken aback by the bitter retort from the usually pleasant young lady, it took Carlton a few seconds to regain his footing. "Really?! And what the hell did I do?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because the door quickly unlocked and opened. Before he could ask again, Juliet slapped him in the face. "What the hell, O'Hara?!" Carlton yelled as he held his cheek.

"Don't play dumb with me, DETECTIVE! You had no right to keep me out of the loop!" Juliet slapped him again.

Noticing the audience that was starting to gather, Carlton turned around and yelled, "Get back to work, NOW!" Grabbing Juliet by the arm, he dragged her back into the restroom and let the door close behind them.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Juliet yelled as she ripped her arm away.

"Are you going to tell me what you're talking about, or do I need to send you home?"

"I should have been told about what happened yesterday instead of finding out by accidentally reading a report left on your desk! Why didn't you call me?!"

"I was busy! I was trying to get there in time to prevent something from happening! I barely thought to call the chief! So excuse me for concentrating on preventing a horrible crime and not call my partner who I thought was at the station and would have been called to the scene! How the hell was I supposed to know that you were on a stake out for most of the day? And then what would you have done? Abandon McNab to go to a crime scene that you were too personally close to?"

"I still should have been called! I could have gone to the hospital or something." She hit him in the chest a few times until he grabbed her shoulders and held her at arm's length.

"And done what? Spencer was basically catatonic. He didn't acknowledge anyone at the hospital, not me, not his father, not even Guster, his best friend. And then when we got him home, he was still out of it. Even questioning whether or not he could go on living. Did you really want to be a part of that?"

Juliet seemed to deflate at this revelation. "No but I, I should have been able to do something. Instead I just went home, and crawled into bed, not even realizing something happened."

"Do you know how lucky you were?" He shook her slightly to get her to look at him. "I didn't sleep at all last night. By the time I got the information that that bastard was in the city, Spencer was already being attacked. I tried as hard as I could to get there when I got no answer on any of the phones, and I was still too damn late! I couldn't even find the bastard when I did a perimeter check." Carlton let go of Juliet and slammed his hand into the wall. "I should have got him when I was in Nebraska! We were at his house less than an hour after he left! I was so close!"

Carlton pounded his hand into the wall 2 more times until Juliet grabbed him and turned him around, almost getting a fist to the face. He noticed that she was crying now.

"You tried, Carlton, you damn well know you did. You were doing your job and it didn't work." Juliet tried to choke back a sob. "But we can catch him. He's on our turf now and we won't let him do this again, will we?"

Shaking his head, Carlton mumbled, "No."

Taking a deep breath, Juliet stepped back and wiped her face. "So, what do we do now? What are the next steps?"

Flexing his hand, Carlton stared at the blood that was starting to form. "Well, we've got a name and a general description. We need to check all the hotels in the area. If he's still in the city, he might have rented a car, so we should check with all rental companies, especially the ones at the airport."

"Okay, good. I'll start on getting a BOLO ready to send out." Juliet sniffled as she started for the door.

"Juliet," She turned around at the use of her first name. "You know that you're not officially on this case?"

"I know." Juliet smiled briefly before pointing at his hand. "You should get some ice for that."

"Thanks," Carlton mumbled as he followed her to the door.

When they exited the bathroom, they came across Karen Vick standing in the middle of the hallway. Hiding his hurt hand behind his back, Carlton shared a look with Juliet before asking, "Chief, what are you doing up here?"

She looked them over slowly before walking closer. "Well, when one of the rookies tells me that my Head Detective and his partner are having a very heated discussion, I find that it's my job to make sure that neither one of them kills each other. Now, would either one of you care to tell me what is going on?"

Carlton stammered a bit before Juliet piped up. "It was my fault, Chief. I was a bit distressed after some news I received and took it out on Carlton. He was just trying to get through to me."

"By yelling back?" Karen crossed her arms as she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, well I was a bit hysterical. I even hit him a few times." Juliet took the opportunity to look guiltily at the ground.

"I see. Carlton, would you like to file a report?"

"No, ma'am. I had it coming for some time and I think that it actually did more good than harm."

Karen looked them over one more time before nodding. "Okay. Carlton, I expect both of you in my office in 10 minutes to discuss the past few days."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Oh, and Carlton?"

He looked up nervously as Karen walked closer to him. Lifting a hand, she turned the cheek that Juliet had hit towards her. "You might want to put ice on both your cheek and your hand to keep the swelling down. And if the wall needs repair work, it's coming out of your paycheck."

"Yes Chief." Carlton sighed as Karen left without another comment.

They were quiet for a few seconds before Carlton shook his head and started down the hall.

"Carlton?" Juliet touched his arm. "I'm sorry about that. You have every right to keep me off the case."

"It's fine. Now if you're done, we've got a scumbag to catch."

Smiling, Juliet followed him down the hall.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The sun shining on his face was what woke Shawn up this morning. Turning on his side, he rubbed his eyes. Putting his hand down, he first noted that he's in the living room, again. Next, he noticed that it was close to 11am, which was strange since his father has an annoying habit of waking him up before 9. Finally, he looked over and saw his dad in the armchair, arms crossed, feet propped on table, and clearly asleep.

Shawn knew that he had a few panic attacks during the night and that each time, his dad was right there to calm him down, no matter how long it took. Feeling a bit guilty, Shawn decided to just watch his father sleep, much like the old man had done countless times during the last 2 weeks.

Shawn mentally shook his head, not believing that he had shown back up in Santa Barbara just 15 days ago. That he killed a man less than 3 weeks ago. It might have been in self-defense and the guy may have been a real bastard, but it still did not make Shawn feel any better. To have someone else's blood on his hands was not a pleasant feeling.

And then the bastard's brother had to come and say that he was seeking revenge, threatening not only Shawn but his father as well. Suggesting that Shawn would have to watch as the bastard not only kill him as he told his dad, but sexual assault him beforehand. It made Shawn feel sick. So sick in fact that now he was feeling nauseous. So much for letting his dad sleep.

Shawn quickly made a grab for his crutches as he stumbled out of bed. He did not care how much noise he was making or that he was giving himself more bruises, he just wanted to make it to the bathroom in time.

Dropping his crutches at the door, Shawn hopped the last few feet before falling painfully on his left knee and retched into the toilet. After the first couple of heaves, Shawn's arms were shaking and he was afraid of doing a header right into the bowl and getting another concussion. Before he could think of what to do, an arm wrapped around his chest and a hand held his forehead. Unable to see the person behind him, Shawn started resisting the hold until he heard his father's voice.

"It's okay Shawn, it's just me. It's dad, I've got you."

Relaxing in the hold, he retched a few more times before leaning back into his dad. The hand on his forehead disappeared making Shawn whimper before a glass of water appeared at his lips. Shawn obediently took a couple sips to rinse out his mouth before draining the rest of the glass.

Closing his eyes, Shawn felt his dad shuffle a bit before sitting next to Shawn. Leaning against his father's chest, Shawn tried to get his breathing to match his father's. After a few quiet minutes, Henry finally spoke up. "Are you okay kid?"

Nodding, Shawn whispered, "Yeah, just memories." Grimacing, Shawn moved his legs so they were no longer under him. "Sorry for waking you. I was trying to be quiet, just thinking. Then, well you know."

"Yeah, kid. I know," Henry stroked Shawn's hair for a bit before asking, "Do you think we can get up? This damn floor is hard and cold."

Laughing, Shawn nodded. "Yeah, sure."

After some careful maneuvering, they were both up and made their way to the kitchen. Collapsing in one of the chairs, Shawn mumbled, "Can I just get some toast and maybe tea."

"Sure kid." As Henry rustled around the kitchen, Shawn put his head down. That episode really wore Shawn out and he was ready for a nap. Although, if he could keep the memories at bay, then he would stay awake forever.

A plate and mug being placed in front of him broke Shawn out of his thoughts. He slowly chewed the toast as his tea cooled down. Henry sat down across from him with his own toast and cup of coffee.

"You don't have to eat toast, you could have bacon and eggs or something."

"Nah, I'm good." Henry replied as he took another bite of toast.

As Shawn pushed away his second piece of toast, the phone rang. Henry answered as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah?"

_ "Hello Henry. It's Lassiter." _

"What can I do for you Carlton?" Henry answered as he picked up the plates and carried them to the sink.

_ "Well, I was wondering, if Shawn was up to it, if I could swing by after lunch today and take his statement." _

Henry looked over at Shawn who seemed to be falling asleep. "Let me ask him." Lowering the phone, Henry walked over to Shawn and gently nudged his shoulder. "Hey kid, would you feel up to giving your statement today."

Staring at his tea, Shawn asked quietly, "Is Lassie taking it?"

"Yeah, he can come over this afternoon."

"Can you stay in the room with me?" Shawn looked at Henry out of the corner of his eye.

Trying to keep his voice even, Henry said, "I think that'll be okay. Let me check. Hey Carlton, is it alright if I'm in the room with him?"

There were a couple seconds of silence before Carlton answered.  _ "Yeah, it'll be fine. I'll just need to take your statement first without Shawn." _

"Sure," Henry rubbed Shawn's shoulder. "I'll be right there with you kiddo, okay?" Shawn nodded his head before focusing back on his tea. Giving his son one more calculating look, Henry turned back to the phone. "I guess today's alright. Can we do it a bit later? I think Shawn might take a nap."

_ "Yeah, no problem. How does 3pm sound?" _

"Fine. I'll see you then." Henry quickly hung up and took another sip of his now cold coffee. "What do you want to do now kid? You got about three and a half hours. How about a nap?"

Looking up, Shawn yawned, "How about a shower."

"Are you sure that you'll be able to stand up long enough to take one?" Henry dumped his and Shawn's cups in the sink.

"A bath then? Come on dad, I feel disgusting!"

Seeing the stubborn look in Shawn's eyes, Henry caved.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: description of rape/assault! Skip if needed!

CHAPTER 10

When Carlton arrived at the house at 3 o'clock on the dot, he checked in with the officers stationed nearby. So far, it had been a very quiet and uneventful day. Walking up to the door, Carlton kept an eye out, just in case. Not getting an immediate response to the doorbell, he tried Henry's cell phone. After about 5 rings, a groggy voice answered.

_ "Yeah?" _

"Um Henry? It's Lassiter. I'm outside your house right now."

_ "I'll be right down." _ Was the curt reply before the line went dead.

Shaking his head, Carlton only had to wait a minute before Henry finally unlocked the door and let him in. His clothes were wrinkled and he had bags under his eyes.

"Sorry about that," Henry said as he led the way into the kitchen. "Shawn's taking a nap in my room and he wouldn't let me leave until he was asleep. I guess I fell asleep as well."

"That's okay." Carlton replied as he sat down at the table and took out his notebook. "Is it alright if I take your statement in here?"

"Sure," Henry replied as he poured two cups of coffee.

It only took them a few minutes to get his statement down, and by then Henry was fully awake. While Carlton checked his notes, Henry went upstairs to wake up Shawn.

"Hey Lassie," Shawn mumbled as he hobbled to take a seat opposite him.

"Spencer." Carlton took a good look at Shawn. If anything, he looked worse than his father. His hair was a mess and his skin was really pale. "Are you ready?"

Taking a sip from the glass of water his dad placed in front of him, Shawn nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's get it over with."

"Okay." Carlton turned on the tape recorder as Henry sat next to Shawn. "Detective Carlton Lassiter, interviewing Shawn Spencer on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014. What do you remember about the attack yesterday?"

Crossing his arms, Shawn stared at the table before starting. "It was a little after 4pm and I had just gone upstairs to take a nap. My dad said he was going shopping, so I was alone in the house. About 15, 20 minutes after my dad left, I heard quiet, hesitant footsteps outside my door. At first I thought it was my dad checking up on me one more time, so I didn't really think much about it."

Laughing sadly, Shawn continued, "Boy was I wrong."

X

X

X

_ Shawn hears the door open and footsteps heading towards him. A sudden weight on the side of the bed makes him shiver, although he's not sure why. When a strange yet frighteningly familiar hand brushes his hair, Shawn's eyes snap open. _

_ "Hey Shawnie." Shawn finds himself face to face with the Enforcer. "I've been looking for you. It was very rude of you to leave, especially the way you left things." He continues to stroke Shawn's hair. "Admittedly, it was my idiot brother's fault." _

_ Shawn finds himself paralyzed, not knowing what he should do. _

_ "You know, I'm kind of glad that you killed him; got him out of my way. I was getting tired of his games. He was such an idiot, especially when he was drunk." _

_ Chuckling, the Enforcer slides his hand down Shawn's chest. "You were very smart, buying those bus tickets with cash and using your mother's maiden name. If I didn't already know where your father lived, I don't think I ever would have found you. _

_ "I never understood my brother's obsession with guys, it always seemed so wrong to me. But then you came along, and now I can't get enough. I can't seem to be satisfied with my girlfriend, making her think that I'm screwing around with another chick. I guess she's half right. Now that I've finally found you again, I'm gonna have some fun with you." _

_ "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Shawn yells as he tries to back away. _

_ But the Enforcer grabs his shirt. "No no no, you know the rules. If you struggle you get pain." Shawn continues to yell and try to get away but the Enforcer just sighs and takes out his hunting knife and swipes deeply across Shawn's shoulder. _

_ "I told you to stop. If that's not enough of an incentive, then we'll wait until Daddy comes home and have you watch as I take him and then kill him." _

_ Shawn immediately stops, his wide eyes focused on the knife. "Good boy," the Enforcer says as he leans forward and kisses Shawn roughly on the lips. _

_ "Now, just be a good boy and I won't have to inflict anymore lovely scars." He gently gets off the bed and rips the blanket away. _

_ "Turn over." _

X

X

X

Shawn covered his face as he tried to stop the tears. Not knowing what else to do, Carlton gave him a few minutes as he looked over his notes. Henry was silently rubbing Shawn's back, almost as lost as Carlton, but also quietly fuming.

"Sorry," Shawn mumbled as he lowered his hands and stared at the table.

"It's alright. Do you want to continue?" Carlton looked between the two Spencer men, one looking lost and slightly embarrassed while the other seemed about ready to go on a rampage.

"Yeah, might as well." Shawn looked towards the window above the sink.

X

X

X

_ After what seems like the longest 10 minutes of his life, Shawn finally feels the Enforcer getting off of him. Shawn had been staring blankly at the door; praying that his father would come home and help him; while at the same time hoping that he does not show up so that he will not get hurt. _

_ "See, I knew that you had learned your lesson." The Enforcer strokes Shawn's cheek. "Be sure to remember that I hold all the cards. Behave yourself or I might have to come back and finish the job my brother started, and most likely include your father as well." _

_ Laughing, the Enforcer stands up and fixes his clothing. He hears a car door slam. "Ah, speak of the devil. Looks like daddy's home. I guess that's my clue to leave. See ya later, Shawnie." _

_ The Enforcer quietly exits through the window as Shawn hears his father enter the house. Not knowing what else to do, Shawn rolls off the bed, landing heavily on the floor. He crawls to the closet, closing the door most of the way. _

X

X

X

Ignoring the tears falling down his face, Shawn looked Carlton in the face. "I don't remember much after that, not until waking up in the hospital. Even that is a bit fuzzy up until this morning."

Looking down at his notes, Carlton asked, "Do you remember what he was wearing?"

Closing his eyes, Shawn shivered before replying, "Dark Jeans, light blue polo shirt and white Nike tennis shoes."

"Okay." Stopping the tape, Carlton closed the notepad.

"Have you got any leads?" Henry asked as Shawn put his head down on the table.

"No. He must be using an alias. We checked all the hotels and motels in the area and have come up empty."

"Motel 6." Shawn mumbled. Carlton and Henry both paused as they looked at Shawn.

"What, kid?"

Lifting his head, Shawn looked at Carlton, "He's at a Motel 6, but I don't know which one. He's also driving a rented Toyota"

Writing it down, Carlton said, "There are quite a few Motel 6's in the area so it'll take some time. We'll check it out and get back to you."

Packing up his things, Carlton shook Henry's hand. "Good day, sir."

"Thanks, Carlton." Waiting until Carlton was out the door, Henry turned to Shawn and asked, "How did you know that?"

"His keys fell out of his pocket while he was leaving and I saw the key chains."

"Good work, kid." Henry stood up and headed to the phone. "I was going to invite Gus over for steaks, is that okay with you."

Nodding, Shawn grabbed his crutches. "That's fine. I'm going to see what's on TV."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Henry was at the grill flipping the steaks when Gus came into the yard. "Hey Gus."

"Hello Mr. Spencer." Gus nodded before looking around the yard. "Where's Shawn?"

"He's inside. Fell asleep in front of the television."

"Oh." Gus started rocking back and forth on his heels.

Taking a sip from his beer, Henry asked, "Something wrong?"

"What? No! No, not at all." Gus started fidgeting even worse.

"Gus," Henry waited until he looked at him. "I've known you for over 30 years. Now tell me what's on your mind."

Gus sighed, "How, um how is he?"

Henry stared Gus down for a few seconds before replying curtly. "He'll be fine."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that he's a bit more withdrawn but still participates in conversations."

"Oh." Silence reigned for a minute before Gus stuttered, "Maybe, maybe I should go or som-something."

"Why? He's still your best friend, he'll want to see you." Gus was quiet as Henry took the steaks off the grill and turned off the gas. "Come on, Gus. At least stay for an hour."

Nodding his head, Gus followed Henry into the house. Like Henry said, Shawn was snoring away in one of the armchairs.

"Help yourself to a beer or lemonade or something," Henry said as he started putting stuff on the table.

After grabbing a beer, Gus stood nervously near the fridge before mumbling, "I'll go wake Shawn up." Seeing Henry nod, Gus set his unopened can on the counter and headed for the living room.

Shawn was becoming restless when Gus neared him. Shaking Shawn's shoulder, Gus said softly, "Shawn, it's time for dinner."

Shawn whimpered as he tried to shake the hand off. Glancing towards the kitchen, Gus tried again, "Come on, you need to wake up." Still not getting the desired response, he lightly slapped Shawn's cheek.

Jerking awake, Shawn stared at Gus for a moment before coughing and saying, "Dude! Do you mind? My cheek is going to be red for a week!"

"I did not hit you that hard!" Crossing his arms, Gus half-glared as Shawn sat up. "Besides, you're the one who wouldn't wake up."

"Gus, don't be a skinny chick in a hotdog eating competition and tell me why you woke me up."

"What? Those actually made sense. You're losing your touch, man."

"I'm sorry but maybe the next time you're held captive and repeatedly abused you'll remember to think of new sayings!" Shawn snapped.

Silenced reigned as Shawn glared at Gus who had paled and taken a step back. Sighing, Shawn rubbed his face. "I'm sorry Gus. I, I didn't mean that."

"No, I get it. You're stressed out and you don't need another person harassing you," Gus blushed. "I mean getting on your case. No, um. . . ."

"It's okay, Gus, I get it."

"Okay, well, dinner's done so I'll be in the kitchen." Gus finished lamely before making a hasty retreat.

Shakily sitting at the table with his back to the living room, Gus took some deep breaths. Remembering how Shawn would tease him about Lamaze breathing, Gus almost laughed. A can of beer placed in front of him startled Gus. Looking up, he smiled slightly at Henry. "Thanks Mr. Spencer."

"You're welcome Gus. And it wasn't your fault. Just give Shawn some time, he'll get back to a relative version of himself." Henry said confidently even though his eyes showed his uncertainty.

Gus was saved from a retort by Shawn hobbling in, ignoring the fact that they were talking about him. Smiling half-heartedly, Shawn asked, "So what's for dinner, pops?"

For the first 10 minutes or so, dinner was a quiet affair. Taking a swig of his beer, Henry asked, "So Gus, how's work?"

Gus glanced at Shawn before answering. "Pretty good. I should be getting a couple more clients on my route next week. There's also a new drug out that's showing promising results for preventing acne."

"Yes, because that is such a horrible disease that no teen should have to go through. Must keep the teen social suicide rate down." Shawn said as he poked at his half-eaten food.

"Shawn!" Henry quickly reprimanded.

"Just stating my opinion." Shawn mumbled as he started building with his mashed potatoes.

"Eat your food, don't play with it."

Shawn made a face as he pushed his plate away and slouched in his chair.

"Well, there's this new girl at the office. She just moved here, so I offered to show her around sometime." Gus smiled.

Groaning, Shawn said, "Please don't tell me you used the line about Pluto!"

"Shawn."

"What, dad?! It's been like 7, 8 years! Everybody knows and no one really cares anymore." Shawn shrugged his shoulders as he started fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Actually, I didn't." Gus sat up a little straighter. "I showed her around the building and we talked about our respective families."

"How is your family Gus?" Henry asked before Shawn could but in.

"Good. My parents are thinking of retiring this year and going on a cruise, and Joy is at a very successful law firm."

"I heard she got engaged at Christmas." Henry said.

"What?! Dude! Why didn't you tell me!" Shawn whined.

"It never came up. They're planning on having the wedding in May." Gus stared at his empty plate.

Henry slapped Shawn's arm before asking, "Isn't that a bit soon?"

"No, not really. They've been together for almost 5 years and they don't want a very big wedding, so there's not a whole lot of planning to do. Besides, Joy has had her wedding planned since middle school."

"I remember her trying out her vows on me." Shawn said quietly.

"What?" Gus glared at Shawn.

"It was nothing," Shawn shrugged his shoulders as he looked away from Gus. "She just wanted to know what my opinion on them were."

"Oh really? Was this before or after you two started dating?"

"Dude, are you still on that?! It was one time after high school and then we picked it back up for a couple of days that time I stayed over for the holidays. It was basically nothing."

"Don't talk about my sister that way!"

"What way? Dude, this is ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?! That's my sister you're talking about!"

"That's enough boys!" Standing up, Henry started picking up the plates. "Why don't you two go watch a movie or something."

"I can't Mr. Spencer, I've got a meeting in the morning so I have some files to review. Good night." Gus stomped out of the room.

"Gus! Come back here!" Henry yelled as he watched Gus leave.

"Let him go." Shawn sulked.

Coming up to his son, Henry smacked him on the back of the head. "What the hell is your problem?! He's your best friend and he came to see you."

"Maybe I don't want him to see me. Maybe I don't want to see anyone and just sulk alone instead of pretending that everything is alright."

"Nobody expects you to act like everything is picture perfect, but you have to put in effort if you want things to go back to as close to normal as possible."

Rolling his eyes, Shawn said, "Whatever. Can I go now?"

"Sure, but I want you to call Gus tonight and apologize."

"I'll think about it." Shawn replied as he grabbed his crutches and hobbled to the porch.

Shaking his head, Henry continued to clean up the kitchen, mumbling, "If I ever find that Sam bastard, I'm going to kill him."

"Get in line," Shawn whispered as he stepped outside.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

While the coffee pot was brewing the next morning, Henry started mixing together pancakes. As he was about to grab a skillet, someone knocked at the back door. Glancing into the living room to make sure Shawn was still sleeping, Henry cautiously opened the door.

"Maddie?!" Henry greeted, slightly surprised.

Smiling. Madeleine replied, "Well hello to you too, Henry. May I come in?"

Shaking his head, Henry stepped back. "Yeah, of course." Shutting the door, Henry followed her to the kitchen table. "When did you get in?"

"This morning." Madeleine took off her coat and placed it over the back of a chair.

"If you had told me, I could have picked you up."

"I wasn't able to get a flight until after midnight, and figured that by the time you got my message, I would have already gotten here."

"Okay." Turning back to the stove, Henry got out the skillet. "Have you eaten yet? I'm making pancakes and eggs and there should be enough for you too."

"Sounds good." Sighing, Madeleine walked over and took the whisk out of Henry's hand. "Why are you stalling?"

"Stalling?" Taking the whisk back, Henry started pouring the pancake mix into the skillet. "I'm not stalling. I'm just being polite."

"Henry, I've known you long enough to know when you're stalling. You left me a message saying that I needed to get here, but you wouldn't say why besides that something happened to Shawn. I spent most of yesterday clearing my schedule so I could be here for my child. Now either tell me what happened or I'll wake up Shawn and have him tell me."

"I told you that Shawn doesn't want me to tell you anything without his permission." Henry replied as he flipped the first batch.

"Okay. Does he know that you asked me to come by?" Getting silence as an answer, Madeleine turned toward the living room. "Then I guess I'll wake him up and surprise him."

"Maddie, no!" Henry hissed as he grabbed her arm.

"And why not? He's my son too and he'll have to get up soon to eat." Madeleine crossed her arms.

Sighing, Henry took the skillet off the heat. "Let me do it."

"Why? Why can't I do it? I haven't seen him in over 4 years!"

"And that's my fault?" Putting his hands up, Henry took a deep breath. "Listen, Maddie. Let's not do this right now. I'll wake up Shawn and the two of you can talk."

Sighing, Madeleine took a step back. "Fine. Let me finish those pancakes for you."

"No, Maddie, you don't have to do that."

"I said I've got it!" Madeleine snapped. There was a couple seconds of silence before she said, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll be right back." Quickly leaving the kitchen, Henry went to Shawn's side. Luckily, Shawn had a pretty quiet night. He only woke up once and was able to fall back asleep after 5 minutes.

Remembering Shawn's reaction last night when he sat on the side of the bed, Henry knelt on the floor before shaking Shawn's shoulder. "Hey kiddo. It's time to get up."

Shawn moaned and shifted away from him.

"Come on kid, you've slept long enough."

Shawn opened his eyes enough to glare at his father.

"Don't make me get the water bucket."

Rolling his eyes, Shawn tossed the blanket off and started to get up.

Patting Shawn's shoulder, Henry stood up. "Breakfast will be done in 5 minutes, so hurry up."

Grumbling, Shawn sat up and grabbed his crutches. As Shawn proceeded to the bathroom, Henry returned to the kitchen.

Smiling, Madeleine started another batch of pancakes. "You always could get him up with the threat of water."

"Yeah. Especially after that one time when he was 16 and he decided to test me and I dumped water all over him and his bed. And then he had to quickly strip his bed before leaving for school."

Chuckling, Madeleine started the eggs. "So, how are the two of you getting along?"

Sighing, Henry leaned against the wall. "Okay, I guess."

"You guess? Come on Henry, I know you too well. Now spill."

"Fine! You want to know the truth?! He's been too complacent. Shawn has barely picked any fights. Almost like he's afraid of being punished or something if he pushes too far. The few times that I have snapped at him, it seemed to crush him, almost like I kicked a puppy. Those bastards really messed him up." Henry started pacing at this point and Madeleine let him while she checked the eggs.

"I miss my rebellious son; the one who would do whatever he wanted just to piss me off."

"Pissing you off was almost never the main objective." Shawn chimed in as he entered the kitchen. "Although it was always . . . A plus." Shawn caught sight of his mom and froze. "Mom?" he whispered.

Smiling, Madeleine stepped away from the finished food. "Hey Goose."

"Mom!" Stumbling forward, Shawn rushed to give his mom a hug. Dropping his crutches, he clung to her as he broke down sobbing.

"It's okay honey, I'm right here." Madeleine shot Henry a questioning look. Henry just shook his head and started setting the table.

After a minute, Shawn finally stepped back and smiled at his mother. "I'm so glad that you're here."

"Me too Goose." Madeleine replied as she wiped his cheeks.

"But why are you here? Dad didn't say anything about you coming."

Seeing a suspicious look cross Shawn's face, Madeleine quickly explained. "I was finally able to get some space cleared on my schedule. I was going to be here last week, but there was an emergency in one of the departments that I live close to. Your father was just as surprised this morning when I showed up."

Smiling, Shawn started to bend down for his crutches.

"Oh, let me get those, Goose."

"Thanks, Mom."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Breakfast was a calm affair. Madeleine talked a little bit about some of the places she visited, while Henry made a few comments here and there. By the time Henry and Madeleine finished their food, Shawn had barely eaten half and picked at the rest. Putting her fork down, Madeleine gestured quietly if Henry could leave them alone.

Nodding, Henry announced, "I'm going to go take a shower." Getting barely a nod from Shawn, Henry left the room.

While waiting for Shawn to start talking, Madeleine busied herself by cleaning up. She had just finished washing the last plate when Shawn finally spoke up.

"So, did dad call you?"

Turning around, Madeleine saw Shawn looking at her sadly. Deciding not to lie to him, she sat down across from him before answering. "Yes."

Groaning, Shawn banged his head on the table. "I wished he hadn't done that."

"Why not? It's not like he told me any details."

Lifting his head, Shawn looked at his mom quizzically. "He didn't? Then what did he tell you?"

Taking his hand, she responded, "That something had happened but his stubborn son wouldn't let him tell me. And that same son was hurting and could use some comforting from his mother."

Shawn smiled, "I am glad that you're here."

"Me too. Now will you tell me what happened?" When Shawn flinched, Madeleine reached over and stroked his hair. "I know your father left something out the first time he called. All he said then was that you were held captive for over three years; and that in the process, you got really banged up and couldn't talk. Then 2 nights ago, I got a really disturbing call from your father that I needed to get here. He seemed very agitated and worried. And then when I show up, there are cops patrolling the house. Please tell me what happened."

Shawn shook his head and closed his eyes. "I can't," he choked.

"Why not?"

"Because!" Shawn snapped and slammed his other hand on the table. "Because I don't want you treating me differently like everyone else has!"

"What do you mean, Goose?"

"Everyone is skirting around me, treating me with kid gloves as if I might break any second. It's so aggravating!" Shawn stood up to start pacing with his crutches. Going 3 steps one way before turning around, Shawn was soon breathing hard. "The only one treating me like old times is Lassie, but I still feel like he's holding back. I can see it in his eyes, in everybody's eyes: the pity and caution. I'm sick of it! I didn't ask to be treated differently. I didn't ask to be kidnapped or tortured or ra-raped." Shawn seemed to deflate on the last word.

"Oh, Goose." Madeleine covered her mouth at his revelation.

Shaking his head, Shawn collapsed into his chair. "Please don't, mom. I don't want that from you. I just want you to be my mom and comfort me when I need it and recognize when I don't. I'm not a delicate flower. I want everything to go back to how it was before. I want my dad to yell at me when I do something that he doesn't approve of. I want my best friend to have meaningless conversations with me without him having to watch what he says. I want the girl that I like to stop being afraid of just holding my hand or hugging me. I want to be able to go up to her and kiss her and have her kiss me back and not be afraid of reawakening bad memories. I want to replace those bad memories with good ones. I'm just tired of all of this."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Madeleine finally spoke up. "I know that it'll be hard, but it will get better. It might be months or even years before that happens, but only if you try. You've got so many people in your corner. Just don't give up, Goose." Madeleine reached over and brushed some of his tears away. "We all believe in you and just want to see you happy again."

Shawn laughed sadly, "That's basically what Dad told me two nights ago."

Madeleine smiled. "If the both of us agree on it, then it must be true."

"Thanks Mom." Shawn held out his hand.

"You're welcome Goose." Madeleine took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Now, why don't we go watch one of those 80s movies that you love?"

* * *

Later that afternoon, the doorbell rang as Shawn was brushing his hair.

"I'll get it, Goose," Madeleine called as she came out of the kitchen. When she opened the porch door, she was pleasantly surprised when she recognized the person. "Hello, Detective Lassiter."

"Doctor Spencer," Carlton looked a bit shocked. "I didn't know that you were in town."

"Yes, I just got in this morning; taking some vacation time."

"Hey Lassie!" Shawn called as he hobbled to the door.

"Spencer. I just came by to get you and your father to sign your statements." Carlton held up the folder.

"I'll be in the kitchen, Goose." Madeleine said as she patted his shoulder before turning away.

"Thanks mom." Shawn hobbled out onto the porch as Carlton held the door for him. He sat down in one of the chairs before holding out his hand for the papers.

As Shawn was reading, Carlton looked in the house before asking, "Where's your father."

"Oh, it's poker night and this was the first time in a few weeks that he felt comfortable enough to leave me alone with someone else. My mom and I are going out for dinner." Shawn quickly signed before handing the papers back to him. "Do you want to come with us?"

"After the last time I had dinner with you? No way. Besides, I barely had time to stop by on my dinner break. We think we've located the perp's motel room and are waiting on a warrant." Sighing, Carlton straightened his tie. "Tell your father that he should stop by the station sometime tomorrow."

Nodding his head, Shawn stood up. "Okay. Well, how about breakfast?"

Looking at Shawn suspiciously, Carlton asked, "Why?"

"Why not? My mom makes excellent French toast. Besides, you will already be here for guard dog duty, you might as well stop in for some food before heading to the station. Dobson had lunch with us today and he's stopping back tomorrow too."

"How do you know that I have the early morning patrol? Did your father tell you?"

"Nope!" Shawn popped his 'p'. "I overheard you tell him the other day in the car."

"But you were basically catatonic. You said that everything was fuzzy from that night."

Nodding, Shawn made for the door. "I know. But I still heard you."

Standing between Shawn and the door, Carlton pointed a finger at Shawn's chest. "I am going to figure you out one of these days. I was so close to figuring out how you were solving those cases before."

"It's called being psychic, Lassie." Shawn smirked.

"No, no, no, no! I never believed that for one second, and neither do you!"

"How else was I able to tell you about the bastard's motel?"

"I don't know, he let it slip or something."

Shaking his head, Shawn chuckled dryly. "Oh yeah, between threatening my dad and taking off my pants, he mentioned where he was staying."

Seeming to deflate a little, Carlton took a step back. "I'm sorry."

Taking a deep breath, Shawn looked down. "It's okay Lassie."

"But I will figure out how you do it, because you are not psychic!" Carlton started down the steps.

"Then how else would I know that you cut down to 1 cream and 2 sugars!" Shawn called after him.

Carlton paused for a second before shaking his head and continuing across the lawn. "A lucky guess."

"Aren't you tired of saying that!" Shawn watched as Carlton turned the corner and disappeared from sight. Laughing evilly, Shawn turned to head inside, only to find his mom on the other side of the door smiling.

"I can see why you like being friends with him, he challenges you." Madeleine opened the door for him.

"Yeah, he's a lot of fun to tease as well."

"Are you ready to go?"

Nodding, Shawn hobbled towards the kitchen to put on his coat.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

When they got to the restaurant, they quietly pursued the menu, making the occasional remark. Once they had ordered, Madeleine asked, "So, are you going to tell me more about what's been happening or do I have to shrink you?"

Laughing, Shawn straightened out his silverware. "Mom, isn't there some rule that prevents you from treating your own family."

"Generally speaking, yes. But since you aren't talking to anyone else, I find it my responsibility to take up the mantle, as they say."

The waitress dropped off their drinks with a smile before hurrying away. Taking Shawn's hand, Madeleine said, "I just want to help, Goose. If you want, I can help you find someone else that you feel comfortable talking to, okay?" Seeing Shawn nod, she continued, "So for the time being, we'll treat it like any other patient setting. You don't have to tell me anything that you aren't comfortable saying, and it'll just stay between the two of us."

"Okay," Shawn whispered as he took a sip of his drink.

"Good. Let's start with how you are doing while being under your dad's care. How are you two getting along?"

"Wow! Right into the relationship questions. Aren't you supposed to ask how I feel about everything first? That's what any other self-respecting shrink would do; not that I think that you're bad at your job, it's just that…."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

Smiling, she patted his hand, "You haven't answered my question. Besides, you basically told me during your little tantrum this morning how you felt. I figured we could start fresh on a different topic."

Shrugging, he started playing with his straw by stirring the ice. "It's weird. I mean, I love the familiarity, familiarness? Familiaristity?"

"Shawn, you were right the first time."

"Right. I love the comfort of being home but dad is acting strange. He's too nice and soft; not the tough cop that I grew up with, so it's a bit disconcerting. I mean, sometimes it's nice when I'm having a nightmare or a panic attack, but sometimes I want that hardheadedness to but up against."

"Hmm," Madeleine smiled at him. "Your father feels the same way about you; missing the stubbornness."

"Can we not talk about dad anymore?" Shawn shifted uncomfortably as he looked away.

"Okay. How are you and Gus getting along? You mentioned something about him watching what he said around you?"

Sighing, Shawn leaned back in his chair. "Fine. Gus is Gus. He's been there almost as often as Dad. Before this most recent attack, we were getting back to how things used to be. We were joking with each other, thinking alike, having mini slap fights. It was good."

"And recently?"

"I don't know. It was my fault. Last night, he made a comment and I took it the wrong way and snapped at him. He was nervous from that point on; trying not to get on my bad side. He and Dad were trying to make things as normal as possible, and I kept saying the wrong things. Eventually, he left, didn't even stay an hour. Dad told me to call him and I did, technically."

"Technically?" Madeleine raised an eyebrow at his tone.

"Yeah well." Shawn stirred his ice again. "I left a message on his office phone saying that I was sorry. Either he hasn't gotten it yet or he hasn't forgiven me, because he didn't call today."

"Why don't you call him now and see if the two of you can hang out tomorrow?"

"He's got to work and I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"Why can't he take you, then? Look, I'll even make the call myself." She took out her phone and was halfway through dialing when Shawn realized what she said.

"What?! Mom no, you can't!" Shawn tried to take the phone from her, only to get his hand swatted away.

"It's ringing, so shush now."

The call was picked up quickly,  _ "Burton Guster, how may I help you?" _

"Hi Gus, it's Madeleine."

_ "Oh, Mrs. Spencer, how are you?" _

"I'm fine. I'm actually in Santa Barbara, having dinner with my son right now."

_ "Oh, Shawn didn't say that you were in town."  _ Gus sounded a little hurt.

"I just got in this morning, and it was a surprise for him."

_ "Well, I'm glad that you're here. Is there anything that I can help you with?" _

"Yes, actually. I was wondering if you can take Shawn to his doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm sure that Henry would love to have the opportunity to go fishing. And then you two could spend the whole day together." Madeleine smiled as Shawn seemed to sink lower in his seat.

_ "Oh, I don't know, Mrs. Spencer. After what happened last night, I'm not sure if that's a good idea." _

"Nonsense, you'll be fine. Please, you'll be doing us all a favor."

_ "Alright, I guess I can take the day off. What time should I pick him up?" _

"I'm not sure, hang on." Covering the mouthpiece, she turned to Shawn. "What time is your appointment, honey?"

Playing with his silverware, Shawn mumbled, "10; and I'm not a child! You don't have to arrange playdates for me."

Patting his hand, she said, "I know, Goose, but I also know you, and you tend to put things off. Gus? I think 9 is fine. But if you come sooner, say 8:30, you can have breakfast with us."

_ "What are you making?" _

"French toast, one of Shawn's favorites."

_ "I'll be there at 8." _

Laughing, Madeleine said, "Okay Gus, see you then. Goodnight."

_ "Goodnight ma'am." _

Hanging up, she looked at Shawn who was sulking. "He'll be by around 8."

"Whatever." Shawn mumbled as their meals arrived.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

"So, tell me about the girl you like,"

Putting down his fork, Shawn groaned, "Mom, really?! I thought we were just going to have a nice dinner between the two of us."

"We are, now quit stalling."

"Fine. Jules is great. She's sweet and nice but can hold her own against anyone."

"And does she know how you feel about her?"

"Well, yeah. Before I left, we were just testing out the waters of a relationship and I screwed up. I bailed on her and then left town."

"Wait a minute. Is this that detective that I met? O'Hara, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Anyways, while I was out clearing my head, I would call her a few times. But that last time, we got into a fight."

"What did you fight about?"

Shawn laughed as he poked at his food. "My psychic abilities. Of course I was in the process of getting drunk when I decided to call her; big mistake. There was this little kid missing and they had no idea where to look for her. Jules thought that I could divine the kid's location from over the phone, and we started fighting. . . ."

X

X

X

_ "Jules, it doesn't work like that." _

_ "Why not?! I've seen you do it with less information!" _

_ Shawn sighs as he plays with the empty beer bottles. "Because I have to be able to see the evidence, go to the places that the kid had been." _

_ "Then come back. Hop on a plane and get here. I'll even pay for the ticket." _

_ "Jules, I'm not leaving my bike here." _

_ "Dammit, Shawn! This is a little 5 year old girl! What's more important? Her life or your precious motorcycle?" _

_ Shawn winces as her anger agitates the headache he was developing, "Jules, don't say that. Look, if I leave in the morning, I should be back in a couple of days. If she's still missing, then I'll be happy to put my two cents in. Just look back over all your evidence, it's all right in front of you." _

_ "You selfish, insensitive jerk! If you're not going to take this seriously, then don't bother calling me back!" _

_ Shawn sits stun as he listens to the dial tone. _

X

X

X

"I tried calling her back but she wouldn't pick up. I ended up passing out shortly after that. When I woke up, it was like my brain had been working on the problem all night and knew exactly where the little girl was. I got on one of the computers at the local library and sent Lassie an email to check with a distant cousin of the father. The father and mother were divorcing and fighting over custody. The father's alibi didn't feel right, plus he was the last one to have seen her. I assume they arrested him because Lassie had sent me a reply that night asking me how I knew. The next night as I was heading home, I got kidnapped; so I never did get around to apologizing to Jules."

"I'm sure that she understands, sweetheart. If anything, she probably felt a bit guilty since the last thing she said to you was in anger." Madeleine smiled as she rubbed Shawn's hand.

"Yeah, she did seem a little nervous when she first visited me in the hospital. I could tell that she blamed herself for something, but I couldn't figure out what. It took me almost a week to remember."

"And how have things changed?"

Shawn sighed as he leaned back, "I don't really know. The day before the attack, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to kiss her on the lips, but I ended up flinching just from that small gesture. I don't know, I just freaked out a little."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"No. I haven't even seen her since that night. I think she's afraid to see me right now, and rightly so. It's so confusing because part of me wants her to kiss me and hold me and tell me everything's alright; *sigh* and then another part flinches at that very thought. I just don't know."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Madeleine ate her food and Shawn started playing with his own.

Finally, Madeleine spoke up, "What about sex? Have you thought about that?"

Shawn started choking on the water he was trying to drink as he looked around. "Mom!" he hissed. "This is so not the time or the place!"

"Why not? It's a very legitimate question. Studies have show that people suffering from PTSD after an sexual assault, find it very therapeutic when they're in control."

Shaking his head, Shawn whispered, "Ignoring the fact that this is the most awkward conversation to ever have with my own mother; let's say that you're right. How would I even bring it up? 'Hey Jules! Even though I still flinch at your touch and I haven't consentually done it in almost 4 years, do you want to have a roll in the hay? What? No, I'm not trying to take advantage of you. It's just that my mother thinks that it'll be good for me.' I really don't think that Jules would go for that."

Madeleine laughed as she patted Shawn's hand, "I'm so glad that you still have a sense of humor. Humor can be very therapeutic as well. Also, consentually is not a word. Consensuality or consensual is what you mean."

"Are we done with this uncomfortable topic? Because I feel like I'm pretty close to bringing up what I've just eaten."

"Sure, honey. Is there anything else that you wanted to do tonight?"

"Not really. Can we just go home?"

"Of course." Madeleine waved down a waiter as Shawn leaned back and closed his eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

When Shawn woke up the next morning, he heard his mom humming in the kitchen. She had left shortly after his dad returned from poker and promised to be back around 7am so that Henry could go fishing.

As he was standing up, there was a hesitant knock at the porch door. Figuring that it was just Gus, he called, "I got it, Mom," before hobbling to the door. "Lassie? What are you doing here so early?"

Carlton looked Shawn over a moment before saying, "Well, I was wondering, if the offer was still good, if I could, you know?"

Shawn grinned widely as Carlton stood straighter and looked over his shoulders, "Aw, does Lassie want some food? You know, my mom's cooking is very good and I hardly ever get to have some anymore. So, what would you do-o-o for some great French toast?" Shawn sang to the Klondike bar jingle.

"You know what, never mind. I'll just grab a breakfast burrito or something." Carlton growled as he put his sunglasses on and started turning away.

"Shawn!" Madeleine called from the kitchen, "You better let Detective Lassiter in right this moment, or you won't get any!"

"Mom!" Shawn whined as Carlton smiled smugly and pushed past him into the house. "That's such a low blow."

"Maybe if you were more considerate." Madeleine reprimanded as she stood in the doorway. "Hello Detective. The food will be ready in about 5 minutes."

"Thank you, Doctor." Carlton replied as he took a seat.

Grumbling, Shawn made his way to the bathroom.

* * *

When Shawn entered the kitchen a few minutes later, Gus was sitting across the table from Carlton and neither seemed interested in conversation. Taking a deep breath, Shawn took the seat next to Gus.

They sat there in awkward silence until Madeleine asked, "Hey Gus, could you be a dear and set the table for me?"

"Sure, Mrs Spencer." Gus replied as he quickly stood up.

Unfortunately, he was a little too enthusiastic and tripped, stumbling into Shawn's left side. Shawn hissed in pain as he clutched his shoulder.

"Oh my god, Shawn! Are you okay?" Gus knelt next to him, only to quickly stand up when Shawn flinched. He guiltily went to get the plates.

"Yeah, you just pulled the stitches a little. I'll be fine, except it's itchy now." Shawn rubbed his shoulder.

"Shawn, leave it alone." Madeleine commented as she put food on the table.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Gus said as he put the plates down.

"That's okay, dude. I know you didn't mean to. You're not a masochist. Seder? Sederist?"

"Sadist." Gus automatically responded.

"Really? Then what's the other two?"

"Well, Masochist is finding pleasure in hurting yourself while Seder is the ceremonial dinner on the first night of Passover. Unless you meant Satyr, which in Greek mythology is an animal-like man with a horse's tail, donkey ears and reclining hairlines."

"Wow, too much info. Although, that last one does sound like Lassie, without the horse tail. Unless, do you have a horse tail Lassie?" Shawn looked at Carlton curiously.

Carlton glared at them, "What do you think Spencer?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking."

"Alright boys, that's enough." Madeleine said as she put a pitcher of orange juice on the table and sat next to Carlton who was quietly fuming.

They ate in silence for a few minutes until Carlton spoke up, "These are really good, Dr. Spencer."

"Thank you, Detective." Madeline smiled.

"Yeah mom, these are the best!" Shawn said between bites. "When are you going to give me the recipe?"

"Why? You don't cook." Gus looked at him like he was crazy.

"Of course I do."

"An Easy Bake Oven doesn't count."

"What?! Of course it does! It's an oven."

"No Shawn, it's a toy!"

"Then what do you call my delicious pineapple upside-down cake?"

"A disaster. It took over 19 hours and didn't taste good. Plus, it wasn't even upside-down."

"Oh sweet justice stop!" Carlton blurted out.

"Aw, is Lassie jealous because I never made him one? Gus, we need to make some more pineapple upside-down cakes! Where's my Easy Bake Oven?"

"Probably in the storage locker where all your other stuff is."

"Then I would like to put forth the motion that we make a trip to said storage locker and get it. Do I hear a second?"

Groaning, Carlton stood up. "I've got to get to work. Make sure your father stops by the station today, Spencer."

"Don't worry Lassie. I relaid, relied? Passed on the message last night and he said he will be in after lunch."

"Fine." Carlton grouched before turning to Madeleine. "Have a good day, Doctor."

"You too, Detective." Madeleine smiled as Carlton marched out of the room.

"BYE LASSIE! I'LL HAVE A PINEAPPLE CAKE READY FOR YOU TOMORROW NIGHT! POSSIBLY SUNDAY MORNING!"

Hearing the door slam, Gus said, "I don't think he cares."

"Oh, he will when he smells it." Shawn said as he grabbed some more food.

Madeleine laughed as she started to clear the table. "So, what are you two going to do after Shawn's appointment?"

"I've got all day, so whatever you want to do, Shawn. Within reason." Gus added as he finished his food.

"Man! Did you really have to put that restriction in there? That little phrase just shot down over half my ideas!" Shawn crossed his arms as he started to pout.

"Exactly. I don't even want to know what they were. So, I figure we stop at the storage locker and then go to lunch. Anything else?"

"What about the Psych office? I haven't been there yet."

"There's not much to see or do. Most of the things were moved out."

"Come on, Gus! This is Shawn Spencer you're talking to! We'll find something to do."

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." Gus commented as he helped to clear the rest of the dishes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There assault in this chapter and the next few chapters! No sexual assault/rape though

CHAPTER 17

Shawn smiled as he stepped out of Gus's car. It was turning out to be a good day. At his doctor's appointment, he got his cast off and was given a brace and a cane to help with his balance. When they got to the storage locker, Shawn was easily able to find his Easy Bake Oven as well as his CD and movie collections. They ran into Juliet at lunch and convinced her to come over later for dinner and a movie.

He stopped in front of the large window of the Psych office as he waited for Gus to catch up. "Dude! What happened to our sign?" Shawn asked, a little hurt.

"Well, you weren't here and people kept turning up, looking for your help. So this was one of the few ways that I got them to back off." Gus nervously fiddled with his keys as he waited for Shawn's reaction.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Shawn looked away as he continued to the door.

As Gus unlocked the Psych office, a weird feeling washed over Shawn. Shawn wasn't psychic and he didn't believe in psychics, but he had a feeling that he needed to send Gus off somewhere.

As Gus stood back to let Shawn into the office first, Shawn stopped in the doorway. "You know Gus, I feel like smoothies. Do you think you can go on a smoothie run?"

"Shawn, I just asked you 5 minutes ago if you wanted anything!"

"I know but I'm hungry now. Oh, maybe you should get some Jerk Chicken as well."

"They're in two totally different directions!"

"Please Gus!" Shawn put on a puppy dog face. "I'm hungry! Besides, everyone's been complaining that I'm too skinny, even Dr. Thomlin says I need to put on at least another 30 pounds. Are you really going to complain when I actually have an appetite?"

Sighing, Gus shook his head, "No, I guess not."

"Good!" Shawn set his cane against the wall as he started going through his pockets. "Now, don't go stingy on any of the sides, I've been craving that place for a week now."

"Shawn, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to help pay for the food." Shawn frowned as he checked all his pockets again.

"What? Since when do you offer to pay for anything, especially with your own money?"

"Ah, well there you go! It's not my own money, it's actually my dad's. He gave me 40 bucks Monday and said not to let you pay for everything."

"But I did pay for everything on Monday."

"Sorry, it must have slipped my mind." Shawn finally pulled out a couple of crumpled $10 bills. "20 should be enough, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Shaking his head, Gus took the offered money before starting down the boardwalk. "I'll be back in 15 minutes."

"Thanks buddy!" Shawn called as he shut the door. He dropped his smile as he turned around and called out, "Sorry Sam, but the office is closed."

Clapping met his ears as Sam Ingrid stepped into the front room from near the back door. "That was a fabulous performance, Shawnie. Maybe you are psychic after all."

"What are you doing here Sam?"

"Well, you see, there were a whole bunch of cops hanging around my motel room last night and since I didn't have any place else to go, I thought I'd crash here for a bit. You know, you could use a bit more furniture and heat. I almost froze to death last night."

"What a shame. But then again, the Psych office wasn't made for sleeping." Shawn said as he inched toward the desks.

"Hey, I see you got your cast off, it'll make things a whole lot easier."

Shawn resisted the urge to scratch his leg when he saw Gus's mini bat sitting on the desk. "Sorry, but I've got other plans and I believe you have a date with the police department."

"Oh Shawnie, you really think that they'll catch me? I've been in the city for 4 days and it took them 3 just to find my motel room. By the time they find your body, I'll be long gone."

Sparing one more look at Sam, Shawn ran for the bat, only to get slammed face first into the desk.

"Hey!" Sam growled. "Where do you think you're going? We're not finished yet."

Trying to stomp down his panic, Shawn spat, "Get off of me you bastard!"

"Aw, is that anyway to treat me? And I was going to be nice and jerk you off first, but I guess not." The clink of metal around his wrists made Shawn struggle even more. Sam sighed as he took his knife out and held it against Shawn's throat. "What was one of the first rules? You struggle and you get pain. Now come on Shawnie, I just want to have some fun."

"NOOO!" Shawn screamed as he tried to throw Sam off him. "Lassie! Help me!"

"That's interesting." Sam whispered. "Who's Lassie?" Shawn froze as he realized what he had said. "Why not call for your dad or just anyone in general?" When Shawn did not answer, Sam started searching through Shawn's pockets and pulled out his phone. "Oh, you are one tricky little devil, aren't you Shawnie."

Placing the phone at his ear, Sam said, "Hey, Lassie, is it? I hope you enjoyed what you've heard, because it's probably the last you'll ever hear from little Shawnie boy here. Toodles!"

Shawn heard Carlton yelling before Sam dropped the phone on the ground and smashed it. He then leaned over Shawn to whisper in his ear, "I guess we need to change revenues, I don't really want an audience."

Shawn started to struggle as Sam pulled him up by the handcuffs and started marching him to the back door.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

After leaving the Spencer house, Carlton was not having a good day. He got a flat tire halfway to the station and ended up getting his suit dirty. When he finally reached the station 20 minutes late, he went straight to the locker room to change. Unfortunately, the only clothes he had were a bit thin for such a chilly day. He had been called out to Ingrid's motel room before lunch and then immediately to an unrelated crime scene, so he was getting hungry, which put him in an even worse mood.

When his phone went off, Carlton groaned when he saw Spencer on the caller ID. Glancing around the crime scene, Carlton took a deep breath before answering, "Lassiter."

Getting no immediate response, he was about to yell at Shawn about wasting his time, when Shawn's voice finally came through.  _ "Sorry Sam, but the office is closed." _

"What? Spencer have you lost your…." Carlton stopped as he heard a second voice, a bit farther away, answer Shawn.

_ "That was a fabulous performance, Shawnie. Maybe you are psychic after all." _

_ "What are you doing here Sam?" _

Snapping, Carlton quickly got Buzz's attention as he made his way to the cars.

_ "Well, you see, there were a whole bunch of cops hanging around my motel room last night …" _

"Yes sir?" Buzz asked as Carlton covered the microphone.

_ "What a shame. But then again, the Psych office wasn't made for sleeping." _

"Something's come up and I need to go. You're in charge here. Once O'Hara arrives, I need you to tell her…."

"Tell me what?" Juliet asked as she exited her vehicle.

"I think that there's a situation at the old Psych office." Carlton said as he listened in again.

_ "… took them 3 just to find my motel room. By the time they find your body, I'll be long gone." _

"Crap! O'Hara, I need you to drive to the Psych office as fast as you can!" Carlton barked as he ran to the passenger side of his car, throwing his keys to Juliet.

"Carlton, what's going on?" Juliet questioned as she started the vehicle.

"Just drive and I'll explain!" Carlton snapped as he heard scuffling over the phone. Grabbing the police scanner, he barked, "This is Detective Carlton Lassiter, requesting back-up at the Psych office immediately." He picked the phone back up as dispatch confirmed his request.

_ "Get off of me you bastard!" _

_ "Aw, is that anyway to treat me?" _

"Carlton, what is going on?" Juliet asked as she sped around a corner.

"I told you, there's a situation at the old Psych office, and we need to get there now! Dammit O'Hara! I'm not letting the bastard do it again!"

"Do what again?"

Carlton was about to respond when he heard Shawn's panicked voice screaming:  _ "NOOO! Lassie! Help me!" _

_ "That's interesting. Who's Lassie?" _

"Crap, this is not good." Carlton groaned as they maneuvered around a truck.

"What? Carlton, tell me what is happening this instant!" Carlton put a hand up as he listened.

_ "Oh, you are one tricky little devil, aren't you Shawnie…Hey, Lassie, is it? I hope you enjoyed what you've heard, because it's probably the last you'll ever hear from little Shawnie boy here. Toodles!" _

"NOO! You son of a bitch, leave him alone! If you even so much as …. DAMMIT!" Carlton slammed his fist on the dash, making Juliet jump. "He knows that we're coming, we need to get there now!"

"We're still 3 blocks away!" Juliet snapped back.

"I'm putting a bullet in that bastard's head." Carlton growled as he checked his weapon.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

After a successful morning of fishing, Henry was on his way to the police station. He had stopped at his house to drop off his fishing stuff and catch before going to lunch with Madeleine. They went their separate ways afterwards, Henry to the station and Madeleine to meet up with some old friends.

As he passed the old Psych office, he couldn't help but notice that Gus's car was parked in its old spot. Pulling into the parking lot, he decided to check up on the two of them and see how they were fairing after the disaster of a dinner a couple of nights ago.

A weird feeling passed over him as he turned off his truck and he grabbed his gun out of the glove compartment. Quickly checking the chamber and putting it in his pocket, Henry made his way to the office. He was about to knock when he heard a ruckus and voices arguing. Figuring that he should intervene before it got too heated, he entered.

He was about to tell Shawn and Gus to cut it out when he caught sight of Shawn being held down against the desk by someone who clearly was not Gus. Henry was halfway across the front room when he saw the knife being pressed against Shawn's throat. He instinctively hid against the dividing wall as he listened to their conversation.

"What was one of the first rules? You struggle and you get pain. Now come on Shawnie, I just want to have some fun."

"NOOO! Lassie! Help me!"

"That's interesting. Who's Lassie? Why not call for your dad or anyone else in general?"

Hearing the silence, Henry peaked around the corner and saw the man going through Shawn's pockets. When the phone was pulled out, Henry silently cursed as he ducked out of sight and evaluated the situation.

"Oh, you are one tricky little devil, aren't you Shawnie. Hey, Lassie, is it? I hope you enjoyed what you've heard, because it's probably the last you'll ever hear from little Shawnie boy here. Toodles!"

Henry grinded his teeth as he prepared to confront the bastard.

"I guess we need to change revenues, I don't really want an audience."

As he heard them start for the back door, Henry took a deep breath before he stepped into the main room and aimed the gun at Sam's head. "Let him go before I shoot your brains out."

Laughter met his ears as they turned around, the hand with the knife going to Shawn's throat. "I guess you should have called out to your dad for help, seeing as he was here all along. What do you think? Does your daddy want to see a show? Maybe even participate?"

Henry tightened his hold on his gun as Shawn's eyes widened. "Leave my son alone. You've done enough to him."

Sam smiled, "Oh really? I think not." He pressed down with the knife eliciting a whimper from Shawn as blood started trickling down his throat.

"I said STOP!" Henry growled trying to keep his own panic at bay.

"No, sorry. Not gonna happen. Why don't you put down the gun?"

"You know I can't do that."

"Oh well. Say goodbye to Shawnie boy." Sam started drawing the knife slowly across Shawn's neck as Shawn closed his eyes.

* * *

Shawn could not believe what was happening. One minute, he was having a good time with Gus, and the next, he was being attacked. At least he had the foresight to dial Lassie's number as he was rummaging in his pockets. He was a bit disappointed that Gus did not see the distraction as it was but at least Gus was out of harm's way.

His heart nearly stopped when Sam discovered the phone, and he was dreading the consequences; but at least he now knew that Carlton heard what was going on, and was hopefully bringing the cavalry.

Shawn thought he heard the front door open but when no one spoke, he shrugged it off as his mind playing tricks on him. When he heard his father's voice, he was both relieved and concerned. It was nice to know that he was not alone, but his father could still get hurt.

Shawn half listened to their confrontation as the knife was held steadily to his throat. He whimpered as he felt the knife pierce his skin. He carefully watched his father's face as various emotions crossed it: anger, hatred, fear, uncertainty, panic and vulnerability. And what scared him most was the defeat that appeared as the knife started moving again and Shawn closed his eyes, unable to watch.

"WAIT!" Henry yelled before the knife could go more than half an inch. Shawn mentally shook his head as he knew what was coming next.

"I'll do it! Just, just leave him alone." Shawn listened as his father placed the gun on the floor.

Sam took that opportunity to lean his mouth right next to Shawn's ear and whisper, "Say goodbye to daddy."

Before Shawn could open his eyes all the way, he felt the arm with the knife move quickly and Shawn watched horrified as the knife embedded itself in Henry's chest. A look of surprise crossed Henry's face as he sank to the floor.

Shawn shook his head as Sam laughed and let go of him to grab the gun. Sam placed it in his back pocket as he led Shawn to the back door. Shawn hardly noticed anything as he watched his father shakily try to stop the bleeding without moving the knife. The last thing Shawn saw of his father before they turned the corner was Henry staring right at him with pain and defeat in his eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

Carlton barely noticed that Henry's truck was parked next to Gus' car as he got out of the vehicle before it came to a complete stop. Sprinting across the pavement, he saw Gus coming towards the office with a few bags. Gus looked at Carlton confusedly, but before he could ask, Carlton entered the office gun first.

He stopped at the sight of Shawn being dragged to the back door by a man Carlton knew was Sam Ingrid. Training his gun on Sam, Carlton frowned when he noticed that Shawn was staring wide eyed at something in the other room. Pushing that question aside, Carlton yelled, "SBPD! FREEZE!" as Juliet finally came in behind him.

"I guess this is the end of the line, Shawnie boy," Sam laughed as he pulled out a gun from his back pocket and held it to his own forehead. "It was fun." Sam said as he pushed Shawn away from him and started to pull the trigger.

Not wanting this guy to take the easy way out, Carlton aimed and fired. Sam's gun jerked as Carlton shot him in the arm, causing the bullet to graze the top of his head.

As Sam collapsed on the floor, Carlton moved quickly and grabbed the gun as it clattered on the floor. He heard Juliet call for a couple of ambulances as she also tried to update Gus on the situation.

Glancing around, Carlton frowned when he didn't see Shawn anywhere. Cuffing one of Sam's hands to the nearest desk, Carlton went in search of Shawn. Knowing that he couldn't have gotten far, he called out, "Spencer! Where the hell did you …?"

The words died on his lips as he caught sight of Shawn bending over his father, trying to shake his shoulder while his arms were cuffed behind his back, muttering, "Daddy, please wake up, please! Now's not the time to be sleeping."

Cursing, Carlton quickly knelt on the other side of Henry as he called out, "O'Hara! We need that bus now!" Carlton breathed a sigh of relief when he found a pulse. Placing his hands on Henry's chest right around the knife, he pressed down hard, getting a slight moan in response. He was about to ask for the ETA on the bus when Shawn tried to push him out of the way with just his shoulders.

"Stop it Carly, you're hurting him! He's just sleeping, that's no reason to hurt him."

"Spencer, Spencer stop." Carlton ordered calmly as he heard Juliet and Gus both gasp as they entered the room. Shawn continued to try to push him away. "Dammit Shawn, Stop!" Shawn stilled at Carlton's harsh tone.

"Spencer, look at me." When Shawn simply shook his head, Carlton said softer, "Shawn." Shawn looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm trying to help your father, okay?" When Shawn nodded, Carlton glanced at Juliet, who was tightly gripping her cell phone, and Gus, who was facing the window, taking deep breaths. "Why don't you let Juliet take those cuffs off you?"

Shawn nodded as Juliet knelt next to him and shakily unlocked him. As soon as his hands were free, Shawn immediately placed one hand on his father's cheek and the other started shaking his shoulder. "Daddy, come on, it's time to wake up.

Hearing the sirens, Carlton sighed, "Shawn, I need you to go with Juliet, okay? And then when the ambulance gets here, let the paramedics look you over. Can you do that for me?"

Shawn shook his head as he looked back down at his father. "No, I need to stay with Daddy. He's cold and I've gotta make sure that he wakes up or I'll get in trouble."

Juliet placed her hands over Shawn's and spoke softly, "He's going to be alright but you need to get yourself checked out first and then later you can be with him."

Shawn nodded as Juliet gently guided him up. His leg started to give out and Gus hurried forward and they led him to the other side of the room as the paramedics finally stormed in. 

"What's the situation?" The lead paramedic asked.

Still trying to stem the bleeding, Carlton barked, "Knife wound to the lower right chest, no other obvious injuries, but he's unconscious. The guy in the other room has 2 bullet wounds, one in the upper right arm and one across the skull, also unconscious. He's under arrest, so you'll need a police escort."

The first paramedic nodded as he checked Henry's pulse and breathing while the second medic went into the other room. Carlton heard Juliet calmly talking to Shawn when all of a sudden the medic cursed and started opening Henry's shirt.

"What? What's wrong?" Carlton asked quietly as he noticed Shawn starting to get agitated again.

"His heart stopped beating." The medic replied as he started setting up the defibrillator. "I need some help in here!"

Shawn chose that moment to break away from Gus and Juliet and knelt down next to Henry, shaking his arm. "Daddy, come on, don't do this! I promise I'll do whatever you want, I'll play that stupid hat game everyday if you want."

"Get him out of here!" The first medic said as the second medic came back in.

Grabbing him by both arms, Carlton dragged the struggling Shawn away from his father and outside where a bunch of police were milling around, setting up a perimeter.

Placing Shawn on a bench, Carlton knelt in front of him, "Shawn look at me." Shawn ever so slowly turned towards him even as his body was trembling. "It's going to be okay, he'll be fine. He's a stubborn son of a bitch."

As Shawn nodded, Carlton finally noticed the blood on his neck. Tilting Shawn's head up, he saw that the small wound was still bleeding. Cursing himself for not noticing earlier, Carlton barked at a pair of paramedics who had just arrived at the scene. "Hey! I need one of you over here right now!"

One of them detached themselves quickly and, before he could ask, Carlton said, "He's got a knife wound on his throat and he's going into shock."

Nodding, the medic opened up his bag and pulled out the required supplies. Carlton stood up and was about to go check on things inside when a small voice asked, "Lassie?"

Flinching at the nickname and the vulnerability he heard, Carlton looked back at Shawn who was staring unseeingly at the ocean. "What is it?"

"Is my dad going to be okay?"

Carlton looked up in time to see the first pair of paramedics rushing Henry out of the office on a stretcher towards an ambulance. "I honestly don't know," Carlton whispered as Gus shakily exited the office.

"Okay." Shawn nodded as the medic taped gauze in place and stood up.

"He's going to need to go to the hospital and get a few stitches."

"Right, I'll make sure he gets there." Carlton mumbled as Chief Vick started to make her way over to him. Sighing, Carlton squared his shoulders and said, "Chief, we've apprehended Sam Ingrid, and Henry Spencer has been taken to the hospital."

Karen faltered her steps at the mention of Henry and flicked her eyes towards Shawn sitting still on the bench, "And how is Shawn doing?"

"Knife wound to the throat that will need stitches and he's gone into shock." Carlton watched as Sam was rolled out of the office and brought to the other ambulance. Buzz and Juliet seemed to have a slight fight about who was going with him.

Glancing over, Karen yelled, "McNab! Please escort the prisoner to the hospital!" Buzz nodded as he quickly got in the front of the ambulance. Juliet seemed to pout before Karen said, "O'Hara, I need you to escort Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster to the hospital."

Juliet nodded as she hurried over to Gus who was sitting against the outside wall of the Psych office.

Taking one more good look at Shawn, Karen said, "Detective, please help Mr. Spencer to your car and give your keys to O'Hara. Then I need you to stay here and secure the scene, got it?"

Carlton nodded, "Yes ma'am."

"Good, now I've got some press to deal with," Karen sighed as she went towards the far end of the parking lot where several news crews were setting up.

Gently taking Shawn's arm, Carlton led him towards his car.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Gus had been pacing the waiting room for the last 3 hours, waiting for news on Henry Spencer. Shawn was currently in one of the treatment rooms sleeping it off while his mother watched. They said that Shawn would be okay once the shock wore off. But Henry was a different story.

The doctor had found them within a half hour of them getting to the hospital, telling Gus that they needed to bring Henry to surgery right away. Gus was surprised when the doctor said that, according to Henry's records, Gus was Henry's power of attorney. The doctor explained that the knife had punctured Henry's liver, missing his lung by centimeters and that they had to try and stop the internal bleeding.

The only upside of the evening was that Sam Ingrid was dead. Carlton had hit a major artery in Sam's arm and combined with the head wound, he bled out rather quickly. He had woken up briefly in the ambulance and was screaming in pain. But before they could do much more than reassure him, his heart stopped. He was dead before he made it into the hospital.

Gus was still trying to process what had happened that day. After breakfast, Shawn was back to goofing around, almost at his old level of annoyance again. At lunch he flirted with Juliet and of course stuck Gus with the bill. Gus should have realized that something was wrong when Shawn shooed him off. From the little Juliet was able to tell him, Shawn had called Carlton while he was shooing Gus away, so Carlton heard a great deal of the confrontation. Part of Gus understood that Shawn was just trying to keep him safe but what if it had backfired? What if Carlton never picked up his phone? What if Henry hadn't just happened to stop by? Then Shawn would have been missing again, possibly even dead, and that would have hurt Gus even more; especially knowing that he was the last one to see Shawn and could not tell that his friend was in trouble.

As Gus was making yet another circuit around the deserted surgery waiting room, a doctor came out. Seeing the blood on the doctor's scrubs, Gus shakily sat down as the doctor stopped in front of him. "Mr. Guster?"

Gus nodded as he whispered, "How's Henry?"

The doctor smiled slightly as he sat down. "I'm Doctor Raymond, the chief of surgery and I've known Henry for a number of years. I was a bit surprised when he came in with a knife wound, since he's been retired for years now, but they said that he was protecting his son?"

"Yeah, someone was trying to kidnap Shawn. Shawn got away with a cut on his neck and he's downstairs now with his mother."

The doctor nodded, "I'm glad to hear that. Unfortunately, Henry wasn't as lucky. As you know, the knife went into his liver and he was losing blood rather quickly. We were able to save the liver and close the wound but he lost almost 30% of his total blood volume. We're currently watching his heart rate and blood pressure closely, so he'll be in the ICU for at least the next 12 hours. With the current blood shortage, we weren't able to give him as much blood as we normally would, so now it's up to his body to replenish it. The next few hours are very critical."

"Can I see him?"

"Yes, but only for a few minutes. He's still out from the anesthesia and probably won't be waking up anytime soon."

Standing up, Gus said, "That's okay. I just want to see with my own eyes that he's okay so I can tell Shawn."

Nodding, Doctor Raymond stood up as well, "Okay then, right this way."

When Gus entered the hospital room, he couldn't believe his eyes. Henry was almost as white as the sheets and his face was completely relaxed. Most of the time, Henry had the no-bullshit mask on, especially when it came to Shawn. Although, there were a few times that Henry's face lit up with joy because of something Shawn did. It was just unnatural not to see anything on Henry's face.

Gus checked the monitors and the IV bags before looking back at Henry. They still didn't know all the details of what happened in the office, since none of them were in any shape to talk about it, but from the little Juliet was able to tell from the scene, Henry had put down his weapon in order to save Shawn, and Sam stabbed Henry.

If that bastard was not dead already, Gus would march down to his hospital room right now and give him a piece of his mind. Although, he would probably have to get in line behind half of the Santa Barbara Police force. Today was probably the first time that Gus had ever seen Buzz furious. Buzz was one of the nicest guys he knew and it was a bit intimidating to see him that mad when he got to the hospital. If Buzz ever released that anger in an interrogation room, he would probably outshine Carlton in the number of cases closed.

The door opening tore Gus away from his thoughts and a nurse around Henry's age came in. "I'm sorry sir, but your time is almost over. Visiting times for the ICU is 10 minutes every hour."

Gus nodded as he took one more look at Henry. "Yeah, thanks. Can I get another minute?"

"Of course, but that's all."

Waiting until the door closed behind the nurse, Gus took a deep breath and said, "Thanks Henry, for trying to protect Shawn. I don't know what I would do without him. Or you, for that matter. You're like a second father. You'd probably tell me to suck it up and that real men don't cry, but I can't help it. Too much has happened over the past few weeks and I guess it finally caught up with me." Gus sniffled as he wiped his eyes. "You need to get better real quick because Shawn needs you. He freaked out earlier when you were lying unconscious on the floor. I don't know what would happen if you die. I don't think either of you realize it, but you're the glue that's been holding Shawn together these last few weeks. Just don't give up."

Patting Henry's hand, Gus silently made his way out of the room and through the halls. He stopped at the restroom to wash his face before going to see Shawn. Shawn would know that he'd been crying but there was no reason to upset his mom even more.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

_ Sam leaned his mouth right next to Shawn's ear and whispered, "Say goodbye to daddy." _

_ Shawn opened his eyes in time to watch as the knife embedded itself in his father's chest. A look of surprise crossed Henry's face as he sank to the floor. _

_ Shawn started struggling as he was led further and further away, unable to tear his eyes from his father as Henry went limp and stared unseeingly at him. _

X

X

X

"NOOOO!" Shawn screamed as he sat up quickly in the bed. As he looked around the darkened room, he felt a pair of hands pressing down on his shoulders. Trying to catch his breath, Shawn looked into the scared eyes of his best friend. Letting Gus push him back down, Shawn was finally able to understand what Gus was saying.

"Damn Shawn, you need to calm down or you might tear out your stitches!"

Hesitantly, Shawn reached for his neck and felt the 3 inch bandage. Looking around, he noticed that he was in a hospital room but he was still in his own clothes. Frowning, Shawn asked, "What happened?"

Gus swallowed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "What do you remember?"

Shawn closed his eyes as he thought, "Sam was in the office and I tried to stall, hoping that Lassie was coming. Sam discovered my phone and smashed it. He started dragging me out of the office when my dad showed up." Shawn opened his eyes as he looked around the room. "Where's my dad? The last thing I remember is him getting stabbed and falling. Where is he, Gus?" Shawn started hyperventilating as he tried to sit up, only to have Gus push him back down.

"Shawn, he's fine for now."

"For now? What the hell does that mean?" Shawn snapped as he batted Gus's hands away and sat up.

Gus stepped away from the bed and started pacing. Shawn was just about to ask again when Gus's face was lit up by some light coming through the window. He looked like he was barely keeping his emotions in check and it was clear that he had been crying recently. Taking a deep breath, Shawn got off the bed and stood in front of Gus. When Gus stopped but still refused to look Shawn in the eye, Shawn placed his hands on Gus's shoulders.

"Gus, buddy. Please, please tell me what's wrong. You know how my mind works. If you don't tell me, I'm going to be thinking of a million possibilities, each worse than the one before it. Please, it's my dad. I need to know." Shawn felt a tear fall down his cheek but did not dare wipe it away.

Gus finally looked up and whispered, "He um, he lost a lot of blood when the knife punctured his liver. He's stable right now but the next couple of hours are critical. When I checked up on him a half hour ago, he hadn't woken up yet."

Nodding, Shawn asked, "Am I free to go? Or do I need to wait for a doctor?"

"No, you're fine. You had an acute stress reaction, sometimes misdiagnosed as shock, after Lassiter took down Sam Ingrid. He's dead by the way. You were a bit hysterical when the paramedics arrived, and Lassiter had to drag you out. The doctor said that you just needed to sleep it off, which was about 5 hours ago."

"Where's my mom? Did anyone call her?"

"Yeah, she's been here the whole time. She just went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee."

Shawn nodded as he let go of Gus and headed for the door. "I want to see him."

"What about your mom?" Gus asked as he grabbed his coat and followed.

Sighing, Shawn walked up to the nurses desk, smiling slightly when the nurse turned to him. "Hi, my name's Shawn Spencer and I was told that I was free to go?"

The nurse looked him over before turning to the computer. Raising an eyebrow, she grabbed a pile of papers near her. "Of course, Mr. Spencer. Here's a list of symptoms to look out for. If you get feverish or the stitches get infected, you need to come back right away."

"Sure thing," Shawn smiled as he took the papers. "And if my mother, Madeleine Spencer, comes looking for me, can you tell her that I went to see my dad?"

"Of course." She smiled politely.

"Thanks," Shawn nodded as he limped for the elevators. Gus barely caught up to him before the doors opened. "So, what floor is the ICU on?"

"The 5th floor." Gus answered quickly.

Pressing the correct button, Shawn was silent all the way up. Pushing their way out of the elevator, Shawn paused in the hallway. Feeling someone touch his shoulder, Shawn flinched, only to find Gus pointing to the right. Nodding, Shawn quickly took off.

Ignoring the nurse at the desk, Shawn checked the windows of each door before stopping in front of his father's room. He could feel Gus's eyes on him as he took in the sight of his dad laying perfectly still on the hospital bed.

After about a minute, Shawn took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. He shot Gus a look before closing it behind him.

The quietness of the room was only broken by the steady beep of the heart monitor and the slow intake of breath from the room's two occupants. Shawn slowly limped next to the bed, not taking his eyes off his father's face. He wore a somewhat peaceful expression, one that was only there while he was sleeping. Not that Shawn made it a habit of watching his dad sleep, it was just inevitable after living together for 17 years and then popping by every so often for 5. Usually it would be after coming home late from a long shift. Not wanting to disturb Madeleine, Henry would fall asleep on the couch. And when Shawn came down in the morning for breakfast, he would pull a blanket over him.

Shawn let his eyes drift to where he knew the knife wound was. The hospital gown and blanket did a good job of covering it, but there was still a slight rise where bandages were. His father put himself in danger in order to protect Shawn and almost died because of it.

Feeling the tears coming, Shawn looked back at his father's face. Grabbing his hand, Shawn spoke softly, "Why did you do that, Dad? Isn't one of the first rules of being a cop to not give up your weapon? You didn't have to do that, I was fine. I would have…" Shawn paused as his other hand fingered his throat. "Okay, maybe I wasn't fine, but that was a stupid thing to do. He could have easily picked up your gun and shot you in the head. And I can't lose you like that, not when it would have been my fault." Shawn sniffled as tears threatened to blur his vision. "You g-gotta wake up, dad! I, I-I need you. Please!"

Shawn lost it completely at that point and fell to his knees. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the bed as he gripped his dad's hand tighter.

After about a minute, he felt a hand on his head, petting his hair. Looking up, he saw his dad looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "Dad?" Shawn choked out.

Henry smiled slightly as his hand stilled. "Hey kiddo. Are you okay?"

Shawn laughed shakily as he nodded, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at his stitches. "Yeah, just a few stitches. You're the one I'm worried about."

"I'm fine. It's just a scratch."

"Did you just make a Monty Python reference?"

"Maybe. The drugs are messing with my head." Henry smiled as he closed his eyes.

Wiping his cheeks, Shawn said, "They're supposed to help with the pain."

"I'd take the pain if it would keep my mind clear." He mumbled sleepily.

Nodding, Shawn stood up. "You should get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Henry shook his head slightly as he looked at Shawn. "No, go home and sleep. Come back in the morning."

"But dad!"

"No buts, Shawn. It'll make me feel better if you're home sleeping instead of staying up all night in those uncomfortable chairs."

Sighing, Shawn lowered his head. "Okay, but I'm coming back first thing tomorrow morning."

"Fine. Love you." Henry mumbled as he closed his eyes again.

"Love you too." Shawn whispered as he watched his father fall back asleep.

Waiting a few more minutes, Shawn slowly limped out of the room and was met by both his mom and Gus. "He woke up for a bit and he wants me to go home."

Madeleine smiled as she rubbed his arm. "Are you going to listen to him?"

Shawn looked back uncertainly towards the room weighing his options. He really should go home and sleep, but he did not want to leave his dad alone, especially since he was still in the ICU.

Gus stepped forward and said, "I'll stay. Apparently I'm his power of attorney, so it'll make sense that I'm nearby in case anything happens. Not that anything will."

Shawn smiled at Gus's flub. "I get it Gus. And thanks, it means a lot to me."

"You're welcome."

"Come on, it's getting late and you should probably eat something." Madeleine started steering him down the hall.

"Let me know if anything happens," Shawn called back.

"Of course." Gus waved as they turned the corner and made their way further from his dad.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

Shawn did not sleep well that night. He kept flashing back to what happened at the office and all the possible ways that things could have turned out. After the third time of waking up gasping, he gave it up as a lost cause and turned on the TV. Madeleine, not wanting to leave Shawn alone, was sleeping upstairs in his old bedroom, so Shawn made sure to keep the volume down.

After an hour of watching infomercials, Shawn angrily turned off the TV and went outside. As he watched the sky slowly lighten, he pulled out his phone and dialed Gus's number. It was answered after the second ring and a sleepy voice answered,  _ "Yeah?" _

"Hey Gus. Any change?"

Gus sighed.  _ "Some. The doctor says that he should be well enough to be transferred to a regular room soon. They just want to wait until he wakes up again." _

Shawn nodded as he drew his knees up to his chest. "He hasn't woken up again?"

_ "No, but the doctors said not to worry because he's in a natural sleep right now. Well, as natural as all those drugs will allow." _

Hearing a creak, Shawn looked over and found his mom leaning in the doorway. "Well, we should be by in a few hours, okay? Let me know if anything else happens."

_ "Of course, you'll be the first I call." _

"Thanks buddy," Shawn whispered before quickly hanging up, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Madeleine slowly walked over and sat next to him. After a few silent minutes, she asked, "So, how many?"

Shawn laughed shakily as he brushed a few tears away, "How many what? How many hours did I sleep? How many times did I wake up? How many times have I wished that I never came back and put my father in danger? Or how many times have I contemplated suicide?"

"Yes. To all of them." She rubbed his arm as she tried to catch his eye.

"I don't know," Shawn sighed as he glanced at his mother. "I guess 3 or 4 times for the first two and countless for the others."

Nodding, Madeleine said, "I won't push you to talk to me, even though I wish you would. But before everything happened yesterday, I had made a few appointments for you for the next few days. These people are very respected in their fields and I've known a few of them for years. You have two appointments today at 10 and then 2, but if you don't feel like you're ready, I can call and reschedule."

Shaking his head, Shawn mumbled, "No, it's fine. It'll help break up the day. When can we leave for the hospital?"

"Not for a few hours, it's barely 5. How about you go take a shower and then I'll make some breakfast."

Fingering his neck, Shawn sighed. "Sure, but I think that I should stick with a bath."

"Okay, Goose, let me know if you need anything." Madeleine smiled as she got up and went back outside.

Shawn leaned back and looked toward the ocean for a few minutes before finally getting up and heading inside.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

When they finally reached the hospital around 8, because Madeleine made Shawn not only eat all of his breakfast but had to wait while she took a shower, Gus was waiting for them in the lobby. He had a smile on his face which made Shawn relax slightly. "How is he?" Shawn asked nervously as they stopped in front of Gus.

"He's fine, he just woke up about 15 minutes ago and the doctor is with him now. From what I've heard from the nurses, he's doing well."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Shawn quickly limped towards the elevator without waiting for the other two. The elevator was just emptying out when Shawn got to it, so he joined the small group waiting to get on. Shawn watched his mom and Gus rush to the elevator before the doors shut, leaving Shawn relatively alone for the first time in days. Ignoring the few nurses and doctor in front of him, Shawn closed his eyes and leaned against the back wall. Taking a deep breath, Shawn blocked out everything but the dinging of the floors.

When the doors opened on the ICU floor, Shawn calmly left the car and walked down the hall. Reaching his father's room, Shawn paused long enough to look through the window before he quietly entered. Staying near the door, he watched as his dad slowly opened his eyes to look around the room before settling on Shawn. They just stared at each other for a few seconds until Shawn coughed and looked away.

Not sure what to say after his emotional breakdown the night before, Shawn spoke to his shoes. "Hey dad, how are you doing?"

Snorting, Henry glared at the food tray at the side of the bed. "I'll do much better once I'm out of here and eating real food. How do they expect me to get better when I'm stuck eating grey mush they call oatmeal?" Shawn smiled as he finally looked up. "Did you know that they want to keep me here for 5 days? 5 days! All because of a little nick!"

"Dad, you lost a lot of blood, maybe you should listen to them." Shawn shrugged his shoulders as his eyes wandered to where the bandages were.

"Don't give me that crap, kid. You are always checking yourself out AMA."

"Yeah, well, you know me, I don't always make the best decisions. Besides, you're the parent, you should be setting the example."

Henry crossed his arms as he glared at Shawn, "And since when have you ever listened to what I've said?"

Shawn snapped his head up and glared back, ignoring the tears that started to fall. "Since my whole world got flipped upside down. Since I've had to depend on you for everything these past few weeks." Sniffling, Shawn looked away and whispered, "Since I almost lost you."

Henry looked down at his lap and they stayed in relative silence for a few minutes. Once Shawn's sniffling had calmed down, Henry coughed and looked into his son's sad eyes. "I'll stay for 3 days. But if I don't like it or feel that I'll do better at home, I reserve the right to leave as early as tomorrow night, okay?"

Smiling, Shawn nodded, "Sure Dad."

"Good, now where's Gus? And your mother since she probably drove you here."

Shawn blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled, "Well, I might have been a little too eager to see you and kind of left them downstairs." Seeing Henry trying to keep a straight face, Shawn continued, "I'm actually surprised that they haven't come in to yell at me yet."

When Shawn smiled widely, Henry lost it completely, laughing hysterically, causing Shawn to join in. They were laughing for a good couple of minutes until Henry grimaced and placed a hand over his stitches.

Sobering up quickly, Shawn hurried to the bed, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, kid. I haven't laughed this hard in years, and if it causes me a little pain, then so be it. Laughter's good medicine, right?"

Shawn smiled, "Yeah, something like that."

Their moment was broken when a doctor came into the room, followed by a couple of orderlies. "Hello Mr. Spencer, I'm Doctor Griffin and I'll be taking over your case since you're being moved. I take it that this young man is your son?"

Nodding, Henry pointed at Shawn, "Yeah, this is Shawn. His mother and best friend are around here somewhere."

"Nice to meet you Shawn," Dr. Griffin smiled as he stuck out his hand.

Hesitating, Shawn quickly shook his hand before looking at his shoes.

Sparing Shawn one more glance, Dr. Griffin turned back to Henry. "As you know, Dr. Raymond cleared you to be transferred downstairs, so these gentlemen are going to bring you down. Do you need anything before we move you?"

"No, but like I told Shawn, I'm not staying here more than 3 days! I'll leave tomorrow night if I feel like your services are no longer needed!" Henry glared at the doctor as Shawn sighed and shook his head.

Smiling, Dr. Griffin checked the chart. "That's perfectly understandable, Mr. Spencer. We don't like keeping people here longer than needed. I believe that patients heal better when they're at home in a familiar setting with familiar people. Unfortunately, I only have so much say in things, so once you're settled in your new room, I'm going to have to enforce visiting hours." Turning to Shawn, he said, "The hours are 11am until 8pm. Doctors can authorize more lenient times if the situation calls for it, but I don't think that'll be the case here. So please don't fight the nurses when they are just doing their jobs."

Shawn nodded as Henry asked "So, if he can be here for lunch and dinner, can he bring me food?"

Dr. Griffin laughed as he wrote something down. "Yes he can, preferably healthy choices, but there are no restrictions on your diet." Setting the chart down, he asked, "Are there any more questions?" Getting two shaking of heads, the doctor nodded to the orderlies. "Then I guess I'll see you downstairs? Shawn, remember the visiting hours and he'll be in room 328."

"Thanks doc," Henry called as the doctor left. Turning to Shawn, he said, "Why don't you go home for a couple hours, get some more sleep. I can tell that you didn't get much last night."

Shawn sighed as he said, "I can't. Mom set me up with a few shrinks and I have an appointment at 10 today."

"Good for you kid. Then I guess I'll see you later? And bring me some real food."

Shawn smiled as he left the room.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

As Shawn was walking back towards the elevators, he saw Gus and his mother talking to Juliet. Taking a deep breath, Shawn put on a smile and walked up to them. "Hey Jules! How's it going?"

Juliet blushed as she looked down quickly before looking at him. "I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm ah. *Cough* What are you doing here?" Shawn ignored the look Gus and Madeleine exchanged.

"I'm here to take your father's statement since they said that he's doing better."

"Oh, well, they're about to bring him to a different floor, so you might want to wait an hour or so until he's settled."

Juliet checked her watch before nodding and looking back at him. "Okay, what about you? Can I take your statement now?"

"M-mine? You-you wanna take mine?" Shawn stuttered.

"Yeah, it's kind of important."

"Why can't Lassie do it?" He asked as he looked around for the formidable detective.

"Well, he's temporarily off duty while internal affairs look into yesterday's incident."

"But why you? Why not Buzz?" Shawn started fidgeting with his shirt hem.

Sighing, Juliet looked down. "Okay, I'll um, I'll call the chief and ask her."

Feeling bad, Shawn reached out and touched her arm. When she looked up at him, he almost dropped his arm, but, by sheer force of will, kept it there, even though he was starting to shake. "Jules, I…" Shawn coughed as he glanced at his mother before locking eyes with Juliet. "It's not that I don't trust you, because I do. You have no idea how much I trust and respect you. You are a great detective." He took a deep breath. "It's just that this is hard for me. I don't want to see the look in your eyes as I tell you what happened. I mean, I know that you'll probably read my statement later, but I just can't narrate it to you. Does that make any sense?"

Juliet nodded, "Yeah, I'll just let the chief know. McNab will be by later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Jules."

"Bye," Juliet smiled faintly as she went to the elevators.

Shawn watched until she disappeared inside of one before looking back at his mom. "Can we leave now? Dad told me not to come back until later, preferably with food."

"Okay sweetie," Madeleine patted his arm before turning to Gus. "And you, young man, need to go home and get some real sleep."

"Yes Ma'am. I'll be back before visiting hours are over."

"Okay then, let's go Goose." Madeline started for the elevators.

"See ya, Gus. And thanks man." Shawn held out his fist.

"No problem." Gus nodded as he completed the bump before going to get his coat.

As Shawn stepped into the elevator behind his mom, he glanced down the hallway and saw his dad being wheeled down the hallway. They locked eyes for a second before the elevator doors closed. Taking a deep breath, Shawn reminded himself that his father was going to be okay.

* * *

The first psychologist was not too bad; that is if you did not mind your story ending up in a book. Doctor Nick Orion recorded each session with a poorly concealed camcorder and took extensive notes, mainly of his own reactions and opinions.

So once Shawn figured out within the first couple minutes how unhelpful this guy would be, he decided to have some fun. Without being too obvious, Shawn told a crazy story while timing how long it took until the shrink either figured out his game or exploded at him, possibly both.

Doctor Orion lasted almost 40 minutes, which was remarkable because Shawn was having trouble toning down the story. He thought he would have been caught right away because, come on, Shawn was not even alive yet, let alone old enough to be friends with Susan Ford when she lived in the White House.

Right around the point of the story where he was taking the presidential dog Liberty out on a road trip, Nick slammed down his pen and paper and yelled, "What the hell are you playing at?"

"I'm just trying to make your book more interesting." Shawn said honestly.

Nick glanced at the hidden camcorder before coughing and stating calmly, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Come on, dude!" Shawn grabbed the stress ball off the end table and started throwing it up in the air above his head. "I worked for almost 5 years with the Santa Barbara Police Department as a psychic! You don't think that I would have figured out what you were up to? You know, there are a few people that are going to be pretty upset once I tell them about this, possibly a couple of lawsuits."

The speed in which Nick's face turned from white to red was amazing, almost world record breaking. He stood up and pointed at the door, "Get out and don't ever come back! How dare you disrespect the field of psychology!"

"Dude, you've been disrespecting it for years, probably before you even got your degree." Shawn lazily got up and stretched.

"OUT!" Nick started pushing Shawn towards the door.

Shawn quickly brushed the hands off him. "You know, I could have you arrested for assault. I still have a good standing with the department, mainly the head detective and chief."

Nick angrily slammed his door in Shawn's face. Shrugging, Shawn continued down the hall, barely waiting for his mother to join him before making his way to the parking lot.

Once they were both in the car, Madeleine turned to Shawn and asked, "So, I'm guessing that's a no to coming back?"

Shawn laughed as he nodded, "Yeah, mom. That's a no. That guy's a real scumbag, more interested in making money than helping people. I'm surprised that he's been in business so long. He gives shrinks everywhere a bad name. I'm guessing that he was one of the people that got referenced to you?"

"Yeah, a friend of a friend who didn't have any space for new patients. Should I report him to the BOP?"

"What does dancing have to do with psychology?"

Madeleine laughed as she started the engine. "No, sweetie, the California Board of Psychology, BOP for short."

"Oh, well I've heard it both ways." Shawn smiled as Madeline laughed again. "But seriously, you probably should report him."

"Okay. Now it's almost 11, would you like to get some lunch before I drop you off at the hospital?"

"Sure. Dad wants me to bring him back some food too. So, I'm thinking hamburgers."

"Alright then." Madeleine efficiently pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards some of the fast food places near the hospital.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Madeleine dropped Shawn off at the hospital around 11:30, promising to be back in 2 hours to take him to his next appointment. Shawn nodded his thanks as he got out of the rental car and made his silent trek through the lobby, which was a bit more crowded than earlier. Then again, it was Saturday morning and visiting hours for the majority of the hospital started a half hour ago.

Gripping the fast food bag as a shield of sorts in front of him, Shawn eventually found his dad's new room. As he entered, Henry turned off the television, which Shawn noticed had on a fishing show. "Hey dad."

"Hey kiddo, is that for me?"

Shawn nodded as he stepped forward and passed over the bag. "Yeah, burger and fries."

"Thanks. One of the nurses told me that they're serving meatloaf and tofu today, neither of which she would recommend."

Shawn smiled as he took a seat.

They let silence linger as Henry ate his food. Once he was done, Henry asked, "So, how was your session?"

Shawn could not help his grin as he tried not to laugh. "Let's just say that I am definitely not welcomed back."

"That bad, huh?" Henry smiled.

"Bad is an understatement. Do you remember when I was in 6th grade and had to write a story about meeting any historical figure we wanted?"

"Yeah, you wrote about meeting a dog while most of your friends picked actual people, like the assignment called for!"

"She never said it had to be a person! She just said a historical figure, and Liberty was totally mentioned in my history book!"

"Once, she was mentioned once and you somehow decided to go on a road trip with her." Henry shook his head before staring at Shawn suspiciously. "Wait, so you told this shrink about taking the president's dog on a road trip and he believed you?"

"No, of course not! He stopped me at that point. I actually spent a good half hour talking about being friends with Sally."

"You mean Susan? You remember the dog's name but not the president's daughter's name?"

"She was an awesome dog! She got free range of the White House, hung out with the President, met a whole bunch of famous people. She even gave birth to puppies in the White House. She had a sweet life." Shawn smiled widely as Henry laughed. "He got so mad once he figured out my game and kicked me out when I mentioned the possibility of lawsuits."

"Now that is something that I would love to see."

"Yep, he was so red in the face that you could have fried an egg on his head." Shawn laughed as his phone rang. Checking the caller id, he frowned, "Why is chief Vick calling me?"

"Why don't you answer and find out?" Henry suggested as he picked up his water.

"Thanks for the suggestion, I would have never thought of that," Shawn said sarcastically as he answered, "Hey Chief Vick! How's it going?"

There was a pause before Karen replied somewhat cautiously,  _ "I'm doing fine, Mr. Spencer. And how are you? You sound like you're in a good mood." _

"Yeah, well, my dad and I were just discussing a very gullible and temperamental shrink."

_ "I see, and how is your father?" _

"Oh you know, one night here and he's already itching to leave, no matter how bad his injuries are."

_ "Like father, like son then?" _

"Yeah, I guess. So, as awesome as this conversation is, I can sense that there is something more important that you want to talk to me about?"

Karen laughed slightly as Shawn heard her shift in her chair.  _ "You are correct. O'Hara has brought to my attention that you are uncomfortable talking to her. Is that true?" _

Shawn squirmed a bit in his chair as he tried to avoid Henry's quizzical gaze. "Well, you're a cop and you must know what it's like when something traumatic happens. You want to prevent your loved ones from having to deal with it anymore than they have to. I mean, Jules already knows what happened, or at least has a general idea of what happened. But there's a difference between knowing they know and being the one to tell them and seeing their reactions. Does that make any sense?"

_ "A little bit." _ There was a pause as Shawn heard her tap a pen on the desk.  _ "I can't let Lassiter take your statement since IA needs it to clear him, but would it be alright if you let me take it?" _

Shawn stared at his shoes for a second before nodded, "Yeah, I guess that could work."

_ "Good. The sooner we get your statement, the sooner I can get my head detective back. When would you be available to come down?" _

"Later this afternoon. I've got another appointment at 2 but I drop by the station around 3:30, sooner if it's another failed session."

_ "Alright, I'll see you later today. Please tell your father that I'll be by sometime tomorrow." _

"Will do. Bye Chief."

_ "Good day Mr. Spencer." _

Shawn sighed as he hung up.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked.

Shawn shook his head. "Vick wants to take my statement this afternoon. I just want this whole mess to be over and not have to deal with it again."

"And it will, you just got to give it time. From what I've heard, both of the guys are dead, so there shouldn't be any worry about going to court. They just have to tie up all the loose ends and close the case properly so that it doesn't pop up again to bite you in the ass."

Shawn chuckled as he leaned back in his chair. "That's one way to look at."

"That's the correct way to look at it." Henry smiled back. "Now, if you don't mind, the ice fishing tournament is about to start, so keep your commentary to a minimum."

"I can't make any promises with such a dull non-sport." Shawn joked back as Henry turned on the television.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

Shawn managed to slip into the station unnoticed. After another failed psychiatric session, this time the guy decided to tell Shawn all his theories on why people think that they are sick, Shawn was not really in the mood to socialize. He waited until Karen left to get some coffee before stealthily entering her office. He quietly stood in the corner and waited until she sat back at her desk before he coughed and stepped forward.

"Mr. Spencer, you're early." Karen smiled, barely looking surprised at the fact that he had managed to slip in without her noticing.

"Yeah well, I ended my therapy session early, didn't feel like listening to the doc rambling on about things I could care less about." Shawn slouched down into a chair in front of her desk.

"Are you okay Shawn? You don't seem to be up to your usual energetic standards." Karen leaned forward as she observed his wrinkled clothes and bags under his eyes.

"What can I say, I'm having an off month."

"Right. So, I'm assuming that since you came straight here, and didn't bother any of my officers, that you want to get this over as soon as possible?"

"I see that your detective skills are as sharp as ever, Chief."

"Thank you." Karen stood up. "Would you like to sit on the couch so that you're more comfortable?"

"Sure, why not."

Karen waited until they were both seated before taking out her notepad. "Alright Mr. Spencer, you know the drill. Start wherever you feel comfortable."

Shawn nodded as he stared at the glass fish sitting on Karen's desk. "Gus and I had arrived at the old Psych office after dropping some of my things off at my dad's house. It was about a little before 1.…"

* * *

A half hour later, Shawn was staring at his shoes as Karen quickly looked over her notes.

"I know how hard this must have been for you, Shawn, so I want to thank you." Shawn nodded but refused to look at the compassionate expression he knew was on her face. "I'm going to type this up right now and then have you sign it. You can either hang around the station for the next hour or come back later. Your choice."

Shawn sighed as he rubbed his leg. "I guess I could stick around. I don't have anything else to do today except hanging out at the hospital."

"Alright, I'll let you know when I'm done."

Shawn nodded as he quickly got up and left the room. Shutting the doors behind him, he looked around the station as he got out his phone and sent a text to his mom, saying that he would be hanging out at the station for the next hour or so and would call when he was ready.

Still remaining unnoticed, Shawn quietly made his way over to Buzz McNab's desk. Buzz did not even look up as he said, "I'll be with you in one moment, sir."

"Sir? I haven't been called sir in awhile, especially not by you." Shawn joked as he sat on the edge of the desk.

Buzz smiled widely as he got up to give Shawn a hug. "Shawn! It's so great to see you man!"

Shawn held up both hands to keep Buzz back. "Well, you know how busy life can be. Anything exciting happened here recently?"

Buzz glanced around the somewhat empty bullpen before leaning forward and whispered, "Lassiter is so pissed right now. Between what happened yesterday and Internal Affairs looking into things, he's been a force to be reckoned with."

"Is he here? I didn't see his car when I came in."

"He arrived about 15 minutes ago and went straight to the gun range. He was there for over 5 hours last night before the Chief kicked him out and told him not to come back until he ate and slept. I heard that he put up so much of a fight that he was almost escorted out."

"Thanks man," Shawn patted Buzz's arm as he headed off.

"You're welcome!" Buzz smiled before noticing the direction that Shawn left. "Hey Shawn, where are you going?"

Shawn just waved as he hurried down the stairs, once again using his stealth skills to avoid other people. It was not long before he found himself outside the station gun range. Taking one more look around, Shawn quietly opened the door and slipped in.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Shawn was immediately met with the sound of a gun discharging 6 times in a row followed by a pause, which Shawn assumed was to reload the gun, and then more shots. Shawn slowly made his way down to the last stall, making sure that he did not make any noise.

When there was another pause for reloading, Shawn calmly greeted, "Hey Lassie."

Carlton whipped around so fast, Shawn was surprised that he did not snap his neck or something. The empty gun was pointed straight at his head for all of two seconds before Carlton dropped it with a sigh. "Dammit Spencer! Are you trying to get shot?" He spat angrily as he holstered his gun and removed his ear plugs.

"Nope, which is why I waited until you were out of bullets before saying something." Shawn calmly pressed the button to return the target paper. The thing was basically in shreds, you could barely make out the outline of the person through all the bullet holes. "I think that this sheet is done."

Carlton closed his eyes and rubbed them as he let Shawn replace the sheet. "What are you doing here Spencer?"

"What? I'm not allowed to visit one of my favorite detectives?"

"No! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a headache and would like to be alone." Carlton opened his eyes in time to see Shawn aim Carlton's Colt 1911 at the sheet. "Spencer!" Carlton yelled as Shawn shot off all 6 rounds in quick succession. As soon as Shawn lowered it, Carlton snatched his gun back. "What the hell?! You never take a man's weapon from him! You could have shot us both!"

"Really, Lassie?" Shawn calmly called the target sheet back. "Don't you remember that time I was shot and kidnapped and ended up shooting out the kidnapper's engine while lying across the hood of your speeding car?"

Carlton was about to yell at him again when he caught sight of the bullet holes. They were spaced around the heart in a smiley face. "What the hell?" He whispered.

"Please, don't insult me. I grew up with Henry Spencer as a dad. You honestly think that I wouldn't know how to shoot? We went almost every weekend and he wouldn't let me leave unless I hit the heart and forehead 10 times each." Shawn concentrated on wiping down the gun as Carlton looked from him to the sheet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a statement to sign and a hospital to get back to. See ya Carlton."

He was halfway to the door when Carlton called, "Shawn, wait!" Shawn slowly turned around to face Carlton who was staring at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck. "If you ever want to work on your marksmanship or something, let me know. We could practice at the range or someplace else. I hear that there's a place nearby for air soft or something."

Recognizing the olive branch, however hesitantly given, Shawn smiled slightly as he shook his head. "Sorry Lassie, but I hung up my guns ages ago. But if you're up to it, we can play Halo or Portal, or whatever games they have at the arcade now."

"Is this your way of trying to get me to buy you a gamebox or whatever?" Carlton asked as he looked up and crossed his arms.

"Xbox, Lassie. And no, I still have mine from a few years ago. One of the controllers is broken but other than that, it's in good shape. You can come over tonight if you want. Gus and I will order a pizza and then we can spend all night playing. You can even bring your Pjs and we can have a sleepover! Wouldn't that be fun?" Shawn was basically bouncing on his feet as he waited for Carlton to reply.

"I'm not sleeping over at your house! Knowing you, I'll end up with my hand in a bowl of water or shaving cream all over my face."

"Lassie! I would never do that! If I did do something, it would be so much more funny! Like shaving your head or legs or writing notes all over your body in permanent marker. Making you talk in your sleep and recording your deepest, darkest secrets."

"Good day, Spencer," Carlton said as he passed Shawn and left the room.

Shawn smiled and called down the hall. "Great! See you at 8! You like Supreme pizza, right?"

Carlton stopped and looked back for a second before shaking his head and calling back, "Yeah, no pineapple."

Shawn grinned widely as he made his way back to the Chief's office and l texted Gus about tonight. He was almost to the chief's door when he saw Gus checking his phone near Juliet's desk. "Gus! What are you doing here?"

Gus put his phone away as he shrugged. "Your mom had to fly back to New York for work. She said that she'll be back sometime tomorrow night and that I should remind you that your next appointment is tomorrow at 3."

"She didn't even call to tell me that she was leaving?" Shawn asked, somewhat disappointed.

"She said that she had just dropped you off and didn't want to interrupt, that's why she called me."

Shawn was about to respond when Karen came up behind him. "Hello Mr. Guster. How are you today?"

"Pretty good. And you?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking." She turned to Shawn and held up a file folder. "If you could just read this and then sign it, you can be on your way."

Shawn nodded as he quickly read it, signed it, and handed it back. "Here you go. Anything else? Do you have a case that you need help on?"

Karen looked curiously at Gus who just shrugged. She smiled at Shawn, "Not at the moment, but if I do, I know who to call."

"Great! Come on Gus! We have some snackage to buy before dinner with my dad."

"Snacks? For what?"

Shawn just rolled his eyes as he started to bounce to the door. "For game night! Lassie is coming over and we're going to play Halo. No wait! We should stop at the nearest electronics store and buy the latest action games!"

Karen smiled as she watched Gus start complaining about Shawn trying to max out his credit cards while Shawn denied it.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

Shawn was gazing out the window the next afternoon as he thought over last night, which actually was not too bad. Shawn was a little rusty from not playing video games in over 3 years, but compared to Carlton, he did pretty well. Carlton seemed to have a good time as well, except for when Shawn sprinkled hot sauce on his pizza when he went to the bathroom. He called it a night after 2 hours, claiming he had a long day, which left Gus and Shawn to watch movies.

By the time they got up the next morning, it was almost lunchtime so they went and had waffles before visiting Henry for a few hours. While they were there, Juliet turned up to give them an update. Carlton had been cleared of all charges that morning and instantly went back to work, even taking over someone else's shift.

She also told them about some of the crazy arrests that had happened during the past few days, but Shawn was not really listening. He noticed that Juliet was wearing a new suit, and by how stiff it looked, it had to be only the second time she wore it, probably a Christmas present. It was a very neatly tailored suit, accentuating her curves nicely and the light blue blouse brought out her eyes and her hair was….

"Shawn?"

Shawn snapped back to the present and looked towards Doctor Gregory Bentley. Shawn was not sure about him yet. Doc Greg, as he said to call him, was only a couple of years older than Shawn, but had a wife and a couple of kids. Personality wise, he seemed to be a lot like Shawn: carefree and slacker tendencies but actually very smart. His office was very relaxed, more like someone's den than a psychiatrist's office. There were comfy chairs and couches, game systems, stereo, and a foosball table.

"Yeah doc?" Shawn asked before his mind wandered again.

"I asked what you were thinking about?"

Shawn shrugged as he started playing with a yo-yo. "Nothing much, just remembering."

"Remembering what?"

"Isn't that the million dollar question. Or is it billion dollars now? Trillion? Googolplex? Is that even a real word? I mean, do we really need a word for a number that has a billion zeros? It's ridiculous! Who even remembers these words? Except pathetic people who have nothing better to do besides making up words that will probably never be used again." Shawn looked over and saw the slight smile on Greg's face. "Anyways, it wasn't anything important."

Greg nodded as he checked his watch. "We're almost out of time here, so I'm going to ask you a question that I ask all of my new patients. You don't have to answer now, I want you to really think about it. And if you decide to come back, we'll discuss it, but only if you want to. Although if you do decide to share, I want you to be honest with me, okay?"

"Okay doc, shoot."

"If you could change one thing in your life, either stopping something from happening or doing something that didn't happen, what would it be?"

Shawn laughed, "Shouldn't that be obvious? You really think that I need time to think it over?"

"Sometimes the most obvious answer isn't always the best answer. Now, my next opening is Tuesday at noon. It's usually my lunch break, but I'll make an exception. My secretary won't be here, so you can just come right back. I'll give you until 12:45 to show up if you decide to, I'll even throw in some free lunch."

"Are you bribing me? Just so you know, it's not going to work, unless pineapple is involved."

Greg laughed as he walked Shawn to the door. "No, I'm just trying to be considerate. It wouldn't be polite for me to eat in front of you. Just think about it. You don't even have to call ahead, just show up before 12:45, okay?"

Shawn nodded as he looked down at his shoes, "Yeah, I'll think about it."

* * *

Gus was reading the newspaper when Shawn joined him on a bench down the street from Doctor Bentley's office. Shawn did not say anything, just sat down and stared out across the park. 

After a few minutes, Gus folded up the paper and asked, "So, how'd it go?"

Shawn shrugged as they stood and walked towards Gus' car. "Alright. He gave me homework."

"Really? Is it one of those 'getting to know you' surveys?"

"No, not really. He just gave me a question to think about."

"What question? If you don't mind me asking."

Shawn sighed as he got in the car and buckled up. "If I could go back and change one thing, what would it be?"

"That seems pretty easy, right?"

"That's what I thought at first, but now, I don't know. I have until 12:45 on Tuesday to think about it and if I'm going back."

"Are you going back?"

"I haven't decided yet." Shawn looked out the window as they pulled out into traffic. "Hey, do you want to go do something?"

Gus looked between Shawn and the road confusedly. "Like what? Aren't we supposed to be getting back to your dad?"

"Nah, he'll be fine for a few hours by himself, as long as we're back in time for dinner."

"Okay. Well, it's a little after 4 on a Sunday, what do you want to do?"

"How about the movies? I feel like movie theater popcorn with Milk Duds thrown in."

"Sure, what movie?"

"I don't know, you pick."

"The new Pirates movie is out."

"Another one? That's gotta be what, the 10th?"

"Fifth actually." Gus replied as the movie theater came into view.

"Who knew that a movie based off of an amusement park ride would be so successful."

"That's Disney for you."

"At least they're action-packed and that Keira Knightley is pretty hot."

"You know that's right." Gus held out his fist as they stopped at a red light and Shawn obediently completed it as a smile crossed his face.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

When they walked into Henry's room a little after 7, they were greeted by a slightly upset Henry. He angrily turned off the television and glared at Shawn. "Where the hell have you two been? You said 2 hours tops, that was over 4 hours ago! Would you care to explain?"

Gus turned to Shawn before he could answer. "I thought you said that you called while I bought the tickets?"

Shawn sighed as he walked over and sat down in one of the chairs. "I tried but my phone died! And I didn't have any change for the payphone. I was actually slightly surprised that I found one."

"And why wasn't your phone charged?" Henry asked as he crossed his arms.

"Because I can't find my charger. Have you seen it? It should still be with all the packaging since it's new. I narrowed it down to either in this room or mom's rental car, which she has already returned, so I'm out of luck if that's the case."

Henry rolled his eyes as he pointed across the room. "If it's anywhere, it's with all of my stuff."

Shawn nodded as he passed over the food before looking for his charger. About 10 seconds in, he gave a triumphant "YES!" as he pulled out the charger and proceeded to charge his phone. Henry just shook his head as he ate his dinner.

"So, where were you guys?"

"The movies. We saw Pirates 5. It might have made more sense if I had seen the previous 4." Shawn scratched his head.

"Shawn!" Gus exclaimed. "What are you talking about? You saw the first 3 with me the first weekend they were released in theaters, and then we rented the fourth movie a couple of weeks ago. I asked if I could take it back, and you said yes!"

"Just because I went doesn't mean that I paid attention. I tend to space out during boring movies."

"3 hours ago you said that they were action-packed!"

"And they were, but there's too much romance in them."

"Shawn!" Gus sighed as he slouched in his chair.

"Knock, knock." Doctor Griffin said as he entered. "I hope that I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all." Henry said as he glanced at Shawn's innocent face. "Shawn was just being difficult again."

"I was just telling the truth! Isn't that what you've always told me to do?" Shawn asked somewhat sincerely.

"Right, well I'm actually on my way home and I wanted to talk to you, Shawn." Dr. Griffin smiled. "Your father is being released tomorrow but he's still going to be on strong antibiotics and pain meds, so I suggest that he's not left alone for long periods of time. After a couple of days, he will be able to drive himself, but not until he's been cleared for it, so he has an appointment for Thursday. All in all, your dad should be back to his old self again by this time next weekend."

Shawn groaned as he leaned back, "Does he have to be back to his old self? You can't use some of those drugs to make him a little nicer?"

Dr. Griffin laughed as Henry glared and Gus smirked. "No can do. Anyways, I'll see you both tomorrow morning. Goodnight."

"Goodnight doc." Henry called as they watched him leave. "Seriously, Shawn? You had to ask him that?"

Shawn shrugged, "It was worth a shot. Gus, I'm hungry, can you go get some ice cream or something?"

"You ate popcorn, nachos and 2 hot dogs at the movie theater! How are you still hungry? Just wait an hour until we leave."

"I don't want to wait an hour! I'm hungry now!" Shawn whined as he started to pout.

Gus sighed as he got up and went towards the door. "Fine, but I'm only going as far as the hospital cafeteria."

"Thanks Gus!" Shawn called as the door closed. He was about to ask Henry something when he heard his phone ring. Frowning, he crossed the room and picked it up. "Hello? Oh hey mom! No, I'm good. Is your plane in already? Oh, I see. Okay, I understand. No, there's no rush, take your time. Yeah, I love you too. Bye."

Shawn sighed as he hung up and stared at the phone for a minute. Returning to his seat, he avoided his dad's gaze.

"So, that was your mom?" Shawn nodded. "What did she say?"

"Nothing much. A situation came up that's taking longer than she thought to be resolved; so it's going to be at least another couple of days until she can get back." Shawn sighed as he picked up the remote. "So, is that ice fishing tournament still on?"

Henry looked over Shawn carefully. "Yeah, the finals are on right now."

Shawn just nodded as he turned it on but then stared out the window as the show came back from commercials.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

The next day, Henry was finally home and they were eating lunch at the kitchen table. Shawn poked at the Chinese food on his plate as Henry watched. After a couple minutes, Henry coughed and said, "You know, poking at it doesn't make it taste any different."

"Huh?" Shawn looked up with somewhat vacant eyes.

"Are you okay kid?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking."

Henry waited and, when Shawn didn't continue, asked, "About?"

Shawn shrugged as he set down his fork. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How did you know? I mean, I know you guys didn't work out, but you must have had a few good years in order to have lasted as long as you did."

"What are you talking about? Do you mean me and your mother?"

Shawn nodded as he looked down again. "Yeah, why did you ask her to marry you?"

Henry looked Shawn over carefully before asking, "What is all this about, Shawn? You've never wanted to know stuff like that before."

"Things change." Shawn mumbled.

Henry sighed as he set his fork down and thought. "Well, I guess it was mainly because something happened. I came very close to dying, a bullet missed my head by an inch, I even felt it move my hair. One hit me in the arm but it was a through and through and didn't hit anything major. As I was sitting in the hospital, waiting for the doc to come back to discharge me, I thought about how devastated Maddie would have been if something had happened. If I had ended up in ICU, then she wouldn't have been able to visit me since she wasn't related. So the next day, I asked my grandmother for her ring and proposed to your mother that night."

Shawn nodded, "But, was there any warning signs, something that clued you in or something?"

"I did think about her all the time and couldn't get her out of my head. When I went places, especially in my uniform, women would come up to me and I'd turn them down. I guess, when you know, you know. Is that any help?"

Shawn smiled as he stood up. "Yeah, that helps a lot, thanks Dad! I gotta go!"

"Shawn! Where are you going?" Henry yelled as Shawn sprinted out the door. "Shawn! Get back here!" When he heard the truck start, he hurried to the door. "SHAWN! YOU DON'T HAVE A VALID LICENSE! I COULD REPORT YOU!"

Henry watched, slightly stunned, as Shawn pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street, barely missing another car. Cursing, Henry grabbed the phone and dialed a very familiar number.

_ "Chief Vick." _

"Karen, it's Henry, I need your help."

_ "Henry? What's wrong? Didn't you just get out of the hospital?" _

"Yeah, two hours ago, but I'm not calling about me, it's Shawn."

_ "What happened? Is he okay?" _

"Yes, I mean no. I don't know! He just left! He took the truck even though he doesn't have a license and hasn't really been behind the wheel in over 3 years! I need you to have people on the lookout, make sure nothing happens."

_ "Alright, I'll spread the word, but you know that officially I can't without a good reason. Do you know where he's headed? Maybe we can stop him before he gets too far." _

"I don't know. We were eating lunch and then he asked me about his mother and me. Before I knew it, he's standing up and leaving!"

_ "Henry, you must have some idea where he is." _

"No, I don't! I told you, we were talking about the past, about why I proposed. I have no idea…" Henry closed his eyes as he finally connected the dots. "Crap."

_ "Henry? Are you okay?" _

"Yeah, and I know where he's headed. Do you know where Detective O'Hara is?"

* * *

Shawn's heart was pounding so fast as he dodged traffic. He was about 3 blocks away when a patrol car pulled up behind him. But since it didn't turn on their lights or siren, Shawn kept going. As he pulled into the parking lot of the SBPD, Shawn was met by a very stern looking Chief Vick.

Taking a deep breath, Shawn killed the engine and got out. "Hey Chief! How are you doing this fine afternoon?"

Karen raised an eyebrow as she looked over his nervous form. "I've been better, Mr. Spencer. I just received a very interesting phone call from your father."

"My dad? Well, he's still a bit loopy from the drugs they've been giving him. He should be fine in a couple days."

Karen smiled as she stepped forward. "He said that you took his truck without his permission and no license. Please tell me that's not true."

Shawn sighed as he studied his shoes. "Yes ma'am, that's true."

"Mmhm. Well, lucky for you, your father isn't going to press charges as long as you hand over the keys. He said that when he's able, he'll pick up both the keys and the truck."

Shawn nodded as he silently handed her the keys.

"Now, as for driving without a license. You know that you could go to jail for that, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, as I waited for you to turn up, I've come up with what I believe is an appropriate punishment. Next week, you will go and get your learner's permit." Karen held up her hand as Shawn started to protest. "Now hear me out. You will then have to complete 5 hours of supervised driving, either with your father, Mr. Guster, or Detective Lassiter. After you have successfully passed your driving test, you may then, if you wish, work on getting your motorcycle license renewed. Am I clear?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good, now I believe that you are looking for Detective O'Hara?"

Shawn looked up startled as she smiled. "How did you know?"

"Your father suspected as much after the discussion you two had. O'Hara is in Conference room B. She is working, so please try not to take up too much of her time."

"Thanks Chief!" Shawn grinned as he headed for the station doors, almost tripping up the stairs in his exuberance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that this chapter and the next are my favorites in this story!


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

When Shawn got to the conference room, he noticed that all of the blinds were closed, which meant that Juliet wanted to be left alone. Taking a deep breath, Shawn knocked softly as he opened the door. "Hey Jules!"

Juliet smiled slightly as she closed a few files. "Hey Shawn! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home since your dad just got out of the hospital?"

"Nah, he'll be fine. It's time for his afternoon nap, anyways." Shawn casually walked around the room, trying to pluck up the nerve to say what he wanted.

Juliet laughed as she leaned back in her chair. "So, why are you here? Your case is almost wrapped up, just waiting for the DA to sign off on it, and then it'll be filed away."

Shawn sighed as he stopped on the other side of the table from her. "That's not why I came here. I realized something today, something very important. I mean, I've known it for awhile, maybe even since the day we met, I'm just finally ready to admit it. Which, when you think about it, is a big deal for someone like me, because I can say a million things and only really mean a hundred of them. Well, a lot of it is usually important, so…."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

Juliet smiled, "You're rambling."

"Yeah, sorry." Shawn started pacing the room. "So after I realized this very important thing; I asked my dad an equally important question and his answer helped me decide what I needed to do next."

"And that is?"

"Well, first you have to understand that me and my dad aren't always on the best of terms and we almost never have heart-to-heart conversations, so this was a big step in our relationship." Shawn took a deep breath before continuing. "I asked him why he proposed to my mom. Basically, he said that she was always on his mind and it took almost dying in order for him to realize what he was missing. I don't want to have any more near-death experiences before I do this, for you know that I've had more than my fair share. I don't want it to be too late. Am I making any sense?" Shawn stopped a few feet away from Juliet.

"I think so. Are you asking me to marry you?" Juliet sat stunned.

"No, not right now. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, I'm still trying to get my life back together. I mean, maybe a few months or years down the road, but not right now." Shawn sat in the chair next to her and turned her so that they were facing each other, knees touching. "But I am asking you out on a date, a proper one. I'm thinking dinner and a walk on the beach. Hand-holding and a few innocent kisses. I just want to take it slow, get to know each other again. Admittedly, my mom thinks that it would do me good to get a little action to help get over some of my PTSD, but that's such weird advice to get from one's mother, even if she is a shrink…."

"Shawn?" Juliet said strongly.

"Yeah?"

She smiled as she took his hands. "Just shut up and kiss me already."

Shawn laughed as he leaned forward. "Yeah, okay."

* * *

EPILOGUE

Doc Greg checked his watch for the 10th time in just as many minutes. It was 12:30 and he only had about 45 minutes before his next patient showed up.

He saw a lot of his older brother, Erik, in Shawn and really hoped that Shawn would show up. Erik had been the life of the party, even after a serious accident left him on crutches and his fiancée dead. Everyone thought that he recovered well, laughing, joking around, moving on with his life. That is, until he committed suicide a year after the accident.

Greg had just returned from his senior prom when he received the news and it devastated him. He received a letter a week later from Erik that said that even though Erik had given up, he never should. Erik knew that Greg would be an amazing psychologist, as long as he did not conform to the stereotype. Greg kept that letter in the front of his appointment book to remind him everyday why he was doing this.

When Shawn walked into his office on Sunday, joking and giving off a carefree attitude, Greg saw the sad look in his eyes, the same one Erik had when he thought that no one was looking. He knew that he had to help Shawn by any means necessary.

Seeing that it was 12:43, Greg sighed as he pulled out his lunch. He was about to take a bite when there was a knock at the door. Looking up, he saw Shawn poke his head in the doorway.

"Hey doc! I'm not too late, am I?"

"No, not at all." Greg replied as he pushed a sub towards Shawn.

Shawn smiled as he walked in and held up a plastic container. "I brought pineapple, I hope that's okay."

"That's fine." Greg smiled as Shawn sat down.

They ate in silence for a few minutes until Shawn set down his napkin and coughed, "So, you know that question you asked me?" Greg nodded as he took some pineapple. "Well, I have an answer."

When he didn't continue, Greg said, "Take your time."

Shawn smiled, "I would have come back sooner, when Jules asked me to."

Greg smiled as Shawn started to explain himself, knowing that he had won a few battles in getting Shawn to open up, but also knew that it would be a long time before they won the war together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more story in this series and it's so much shorter! Thank you for reading!


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